Last week a friend invited me to lunch at her house.  This was no ordinary lunch venue.  The setting was her perennial garden next to a 40 acre bog, lovingly grown with hoards of bee balm, shasta daisies, and bundles of lazy clematis climbing up trellises nearby.   Not to be outdone by the foliage, the butterfly kingdom made a colorful appearance, as if it had been ordered with the entree. It was an unfettered canvas of summer, painted on a perfect Michigan afternoon; complete with Pimm’s, good wine and 15 creative and insightful women who were as empowered as they come.

As easily as the Pinot, stories poured forth of triumph from experiencing family life in war-torn Europe, metaphors on life from a penguin’s point of view, and how to survive the current real estate market. These women, ages 40 to 75, were a powerful bunch.  Many had started new careers. One woman worked for a government agency focused on providing energy alternatives to increase women’s productivity and survive in struggling world economies. Others left the corporate environment to become yoga instructors, manufacture luggage tags, or start home-based businesses.

What makes women like this succeed in the second half of their lives?

By watching empowered women in my own community, I’ve learned something about staying on purpose and having the courage to define your own life, especially after the age of 40.  Here are six ways to “stay on purpose” and step into a greater vision of who you are:

1. Manage work and life like a powerful woman.  Drop your meek little girl voice and open that throat chakra to showcase your wisdom and intelligence.  Use your intuition regularly in your decision-making.  Don’t let anyone convince you that right-brained activity is without merit.  See the value in being female! If you’ve been the head of human resources in a Fortune 500 company and want to knit for a living, then do it. If you shifting tracks pour your joy into what you love, feel good about it, and make no apologies.
 
2. Be a strategic philanthropist. Do something for yourself and for women everywhere.  Involve community service in your idea.  Spend some time leading from the heart, not just your head.  Break away from those command and control, or patriarchal dominated work cultures.  If you’ve been operating in the shadow of male-oriented work values, create a new work environment that is refreshing and female-oriented. Be firmly seated in female values.  You’ll be glad you did.  (To learn more about female centered values, see www.thegoddessnetwork.net and click on Goddess Values!)

3. Shed the Old Story.  Many of us picked our careers to please Dad and the men in our life.  The New Story: after 40, we finally embrace our unique capabilities.  We’re wiser and figure out where our talents are best served.  Don’t be afraid to go for it!

4. Have courage to shift gears but stay in balance.  Everyone will tell you you’re nuts to leave a sure thing for the unknown.  Follow your intuition… it’s what women do best, but channel an equal amount of mental energy and be mindful of balance. When in doubt, surrender to the unknown and don’t push too hard to find an answer in 20 minutes or less.  You’ll eventually have a soft landing as long as you have faith.

5. Make space for new opportunity by moving forward mentally and emotionally.  Personal growth happens when we make space for new opportunities.  Let go of the past.  Stop making wallpaper out of rejection letters and turn downs.  Make peace with everyone and stop allowing old, negative programs dictate your current reality.  Have a positive vision of who you are and affirm it regularly!

6. Define a higher purpose and stick to it.  Changing the world takes time, but develop the discipline to do it.  Get up every day and allow your inner light blast forth, whether it is in front of a yoga class full of children or writing articles about how we are more like nature than we think. The energy of purpose is like a garden – it grows within us but we must give it direction and attention.  It’s a gift given to us before we even get here. It’s our own special rendition of an individual spark of divine power. 

Empowered people have passion. Getting there takes having confidence to embrace what we know… and making a conscious choice to enlighten others with our experience, knowledge, and observations.  We reach inner peace when we understand that we help everyone consciously evolve by embracing our own perspective.  Our purpose, when we’re comfortable with its simplicity, is to inspire others to step into a better rendition of life.  A vision that cultivates our own wonderful and unique purpose in the process.

Fill yourself with purpose today, and remember you can enrich your own experience and change the world too.  Today in your own life, celebrate your talents.  Allow more mental and emotional space to express your purpose, power, and peace that comes from accumulated wisdom.  When you allow these ideas to drive your life, you will expand your own vision of what you can become.  Be of purpose.  Remember, believe in who you are and what you can do!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on Corporate Soul! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend, a marketing manager for a real estate company.  Judy travels on business and has a one-year old daughter. In 2 minutes, she quickly shared the following:  her nanny unexpectedly quit, she’s negotiating complex business deals, she’s building a house, selling her own condo, and her administrative assistant recently crossed over. She felt her husband did not understand the time commitment involved in mothering. To boot, she was worried about losing weight and looking beautiful. 

As a consequence of today’s pace, women do feel overwhelmed by responsibilities at work and home.  We’re often torn by our innate desire to nurture everyone, but want to express our gifts in the form of professional work.  How can we develop a more robust connection with spirit, especially on the days it seems to be going down the tubes?  And what can we do to stop feeling overwhelmed? 

Take Charge of Your Own Behavior 

Life seems to be getting more stressful by the day.  Women need to multi-task their multi-tasking just to keep up with a career, family, and social life.  Often women are too hard on themselves because society trains them to be “woman-helper extroverts.”  Praised by what we do for others, and rewarded accordingly, we put our own needs last.  Societal messages encouraging women to “over-achieve” can reside in unrealistic media images and the nuances of close relationships.   

Problems with this type of cultural or family conditioning can result in choosing the wrong career to please parents or spouses or having a lack of confidence in decision-making.  Take charge of your own behavior by affirming your innate capabilities are enough.  Find a moment to appreciate YOU and be receptive to appreciation from others.   

Many women are not taught from a young age how to spend time cultivating a sense of self-worth.  Lack of self-esteem can spill into marriage and the workplace later in life and affect relationships at all levels. Here is an affirmation for self-appreciation that can help you get on a positive track to a self-image of success and worthiness:   “I am a unique and beloved individual who has already changed the world by being present.  I am filled with joy knowing I have offered the world my gifts.  I shine no matter what my family says; my talents reach far outside of this realm.  I now focus on what my talents can do for the greater good.  I love what I can do!” 

Be Aware of Your True Self 

Empowerment comes from awareness of your true or authentic self.  Our natural state of being is unlimited spirit.  Harnessing that idea through conscious awareness takes effort.  It’s about having the mental discipline to create your day before you put on your pantyhose.  It means knowing, from the core of your being, you already own that power.  You are, in fact, an individual spark of the Divine. That’s a pretty big thought.  We are already important, loved, and appreciated by being in this enormous, unlimited equation.  Focus on that more often and you won’t create negative self-talk or self-criticism that often drives overwhelming feelings of self-doubt and worry. 

Make sure your work life resonates with your spiritual needs.  “Work” at the fundamental level must nurture the most closely held set of values and ideas of what your gift to humanity is. Remember, overdoing and managing unrealistic expectations reinforced by the media and our culture of perfection – anything from having perfect body to managing a Fortune 500 company while single-handedly raising 5 children – is not a divine idea.  It’s a collection of human ideas bordering on the bizarre that might have been designed to sell more consumer products like day planners and diet pills.   

Take a breath and separate what’s important and what isn’t.  Love who you are and generate positive feelings about what you already contribute to the world – not what anyone else may expect. You already have the ability to transform life.  You can give birth to creative ideas by your very presence.  Your life is a sacred expression of your soul put into motion. Value being female and your expression on this planet.  That is a very powerful belief! 

Stay in the Powerful, Present Moment 

You most powerful moments in life are spent in the present. Getting stuck in the past holds you behind.  True empowerment stems from living now, not reacting to now from a mindset of the past or living with worry about what might happen tomorrow, next month, or next year.  Every day, no matter what has happened to you in the past, is a new opportunity to begin painting your life on a new canvas. 

Over the years, I’ve experimented with ways to release the past and move forward with a positive attitude, living life joyfully in the present moment.  I’ve noticed when I start my day without any clear direction of how I choose to think, I don’t get the results I want. 

Instead of spending time regurgitating old problems, choose to move loss, disappointment, and feelings of non-success far from your mind.  Make your perception of reality pleasant and meaningful.  Don’t spend time dredging up ancient family history or old problems that occurred years ago. Practice forgiveness daily until it becomes automatic.  You will feel lighter! 

Learn to Say No 

Saying “no” is about mental strength, self-value, and positive expectation.  If we’ve learned anything at all from watching “The Secret” is the power of our own intentions to attract lives of balance, prosperity, and joy. 

If you spend time wondering what everyone thinks of you after you say “no” you’ll never choose any life situation that truly meets your needs.  Before you say “yes” ask: 

• Does this task bring me joy?
• Does it move me toward a future vision of where I want to be personally, professionally, or emotionally?
• Does this task serve my higher self?  Does it serve humankind?
• If I choose this task, will I feel good about my contribution to my family, friends, or a cause?  Will I feel good about myself?
• Can I do this task with a full heart and not resent anyone afterwards?

Use affirmative thinking to stay on track.  Say: 

“I commit to doing at least one thing for myself today.  I generate more power when I give to myself.  Goodness in my life is well-deserved because I am worthy of all goodness.  The universe is showing me that my first responsibility is to take care of myself.  When I do that, I have a bigger capacity to love.” 

Experiencing peace of mind is a daily discipline.  It’s reached by prioritizing and setting boundaries, but also by cultivating a spiritual connection.  No matter what your wisdom tradition, remember to love the Divine presence within. Revisit those qualities and ideas that spirit represents. And learn to let worries go more easily and find ways to live lightly by choosing to play more often or simply slow down to enjoy the view. You will find life is a more authentic expression of who you are — your female inspired, spirit-powered self! 

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

With the turn of a new year, most of us are interested in achieving new goals, especially in creating more harmony and abundance. Many people are on the look-out for negative thinking and want to process life differently.  When we start taking inventory, it’s amazing how often we keep wounds open from situations that no longer matter. Memories and resentments such as old hurts left over from parents and institutions, guilt and unforgiveness, and old mental programming all translate into heartache and become the foundation for self-generating negative and unproductive states of living.  How can we alter our course to reset our thinking to the self-empowerment zone, which translates into achievement and success?

Develop conscious awareness

To feel productive and balanced, we can develop conscious awareness of those thought patterns that prevent us from expressing our gifts. With a little self-discipline, we can begin to reveal our divine selves, letting our light blast forth with no inhibitions and no agenda beyond the simple purpose of evolving our souls with as much zest as possible. When that happens, life suddenly moves from struggle to joy.

Choose a positive attitude

Every day we have an opportunity to choose our attitude and focus our intentions in the present moment. Because of this choice, our own personal lives and all that we see in the world originate within the mind. Our physical experience is our 360-degree review on how we think. Negative thoughts and old patterns of thinking prevent us from offering the world our special talents and doing the work we love, which can be anything from managing a home or a family to running a Fortune 500 company.

Having the discipline to choose our thoughts is also a challenge, especially when old baggage gets in the way. Put simply, our job is to fully participate in life but be consciously aware of what we want to create. Then we can look at the results and make adjustments. This is what it’s like to have an empowered life. And to do this, we must first know that life is a cooperative arrangement between us and a divine presence we call God. We’re all in it together, thinking certain thoughts and making choices that eventually become reality: a real-life reflection of our own thoughts.

Rely upon your inner power and the present moment

To realize this power with strength and self-confidence, we must also recognize that this strength lives within each and every one of us today. It is that spark of divine energy that constitutes our unique and beautiful selves. So the strength to achieve a goal comes from making choices based in the present moment, not as a reaction to events, relationships, or experiences from long ago that no longer matter. Deciding to live in the present is the key to an empowered life. And when we honor the Divine within us, no matter our wisdom tradition, we no longer wait for life to begin; we jump-start it all on our own.

Remember, life is an exercise in making positive change in the most arduous circumstances. The power to create reality lies within us. By claiming responsibility for what we create, we in turn are allowed to grow and self-develop. There is no failure, only a greater opportunity to put your Divine light to work. Take charge of your thinking!  That includes taking charge of your destiny and ending the self-blame for past experiences that no longer have any bearing upon what you can accomplish today.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Positive thinking is a discipline that trains the human mind to change a perceived reality by repeatedly making positive mental statements. A person practices positive thinking when they derive a positive sense of well being, optimism, belonging, meaning and/or purpose from being part of and contributing back to something larger and more permanent than themselves. Positive thinking is a process of choosing positive emotions from stimuli in the environment and applying them to perceptions and beliefs.  The objective is to create an outlook that translates into a new or better chosen reality.

Positive Mental Attitudes

A positive mental attitude is the belief that one can increase achievement through optimistic thought processes.  A positive attitude comes from observational learning in the environment and is partially achieved when a vision of good natured change in the mind is applied toward people, circumstances, events, or behaviors (Wikipedia). Since it is difficult to quantify (measure) the effects of a positive mental attitude, it can be considered a philosophy and a way to approach life.

The Secret to Positive Thinking
  
Creating reality by how one chooses to think about life, health, relationships, and finances was the subject of the hit movie “The Secret.” Current self-help gurus discussed the Law of Attraction and other principles congruent with positive thinking.  Building a positive mindset that attracted better circumstances in one’s life involved: (1) alignment to a clear vision of what is desired, (2) an attitude of thankfulness, (3) having positive emotions associated with the desire, and (4) releasing that desire to a greater power.   

The experts in “The Secret” emphasized an individual’s responsibility to create and institute positive mental programming and present moment awareness to release emotional drivers that cloud a person’s ability to have a productive life.  Regret, shame, and blame and a negative outlook on life focused on past circumstances can also be fundamental cause of physical disease in adults. Similarly, physical healing can be obtained creating a self-made vision.  Demonstrating a healthy life with positive outcomes involves setting an intention, consciously creating a mental attitude of positive expectation, and conditioning the mind to accept navigate through grief, loss, anger with ease or choosing to eliminate those mental attitudes altogether.

Create Positive Thoughts by Using Affirmations

The technique of writing and repeating affirmations has been said to institute a positive mental attitude resulting in measurable change.  An affirmation is a positive, present day statement that assumes what one declares is real and present.  The more an affirmation is practiced, the mind has a greater the level of acceptance of that thought. Positive thinking experts, such as Louise Hay, Michael Beckwith, James Arthur Ray, Catherine Ponder, Norman Vincent Peale, Napoleon Hill, and John Randolph Price advocated the use of affirmations to both reprogram the brain by repetition and maintaining present moment centeredness. The desired result is to manifest new and positive circumstances.

Since an affirmation declares one’s state of mind and expectation, it acknowledges to the mind and body a present-day reality.  An example of an affirmation is the following: “I am filled with wonder and I now manifest prosperity and abundance in every aspect of my life. I use the creative genius of the universe in all I do. I am successful, healthy, and live life well. This day I have the power to change myself.” 

Affirmations are a spiritual idea, and non-quantitative.  They are based upon “as within, so without, as above so below” which is an idea, or universal presented in many religious works, including the Bible.  If thought attracts, or resonates, with like energies, than any individual practicing positive thinking can eventually see results externally in the form of a better job, more loving relationships, or even satisfying experiences.

For a more complete definition on positive thinking, see The Evolution of Positive Thinking: Views from Science, Spirituality, Psychology and Hollywood by Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.

Surviving a family get-together may seem insurmountable, especially when considering the complex history that goes along with relationships, marriages, divorces, births, and other family happenstance.  Making any family gathering a positive experience takes mental discipline and effort in managing our emotions until they can run smoothly on automatic. Here’s how to walk away feeling positive from holidays, weddings, and Sunday dinners:

Know your flash points

Before you agree to host, or be a guest, know the three biggest flash points that can set off an unexpected tirade of old emotional baggage and unpleasant memories.  Entertaining, and being the host, is the number one stressor that can set off unpleasant family issues.  Compounded with already full schedules, we feel obligated to be perfect hosts for our families who might not even appreciate our efforts.  Your home is your energy sphere.  When you believe your hospitality is a demonstration of who you are, you have nothing to prove or hide.  Release anxiety and worry about inviting critical family members over by knowing your presence, and contribution, are gifts to those around you.

Unrealistic expectations are another common flash point.  When we carry outdated mental and emotional baggage from the past, life events, circumstances, and old relationships from long ago, we also bring a set of expectations along for the ride.  Sometimes, no matter what family members do, they may always seem ungrateful.  Stay centered!  Even though you may not receive thanks from anyone, you are stronger for being generous.  Give with a happy heart and focus on releasing resentment from the past.  Your true thanks are manifested in other ways not readily seen. Nobody liked your gift?  Thank yourself for being the amazing person you are…and cross that grump of your list for next year!

Being the maverick of the family, or the one who has always walked off the beaten path, can make you overly sensitive at family get-togethers.  When we choose a different life than our parents, are not liked by other established family members, or are the new kid on the block that doesn’t fit the mold, we feel ostracized and go through the motions, often with a bad attitude.  Remember, others perceive you the way you perceive yourself.  Love your unique space and stop making apologies.  Be kind to everyone. Know you fit beautifully in this world and are valuable to everyone on the planet – including your family! When you believe you fit perfectly into a space that has been designed exclusively for you, you’ll no longer accept any stigma or negative labels others may place upon you.

Check your state of mind

Each day we have an opportunity to choose our attitude and focus our intentions on the present moment.  Because of this choice, our own personal lives, and all we observe in the world, originate within the mind.  Living without stress first originates within the mind! As within, so without.  As above, so below.  It’s easy.  Begin by being consciously aware of what you want to create, even if grouchy Grandpa seems to set the tone for the gathering or Cousin Martha comes for dinner… and complains about everything!

Focus on today

Our families provide some of the most challenging circumstances we will ever experience.  Since family dynamics make us intimate with a situation, it is difficult to separate the past from the present.  Find joy in what others bring to the table, even if Aunt Edna doesn’t like the menu.  Take a deep breath, stay centered, and keep moving forward!

See the big picture often

Use affirmations to get your positive thinking on course.  Affirm: “In the universal perspective, today is but a blink in time.  Therefore, I move gracefully through these moments with ease.  I offer others my heart without depleting my energy reserves.” Other people’s unhappiness is not all about you!

When in doubt, tune out

For difficult in-laws, I have found these two affirmations to be particularly helpful:

“From this day forward, I focus on what is important and not what others expect me to do.  I am capable of using my tune-out button when a negative situation arises.  I am centered, whole, and happy, and I celebrate life well!”

“From this day forward, I choose to never compromise my beautiful soul for the sake of fitting into a program.  I ask for divine assistance in bringing my light in positive ways to this family.  I am a whole and complete individual and am comfortable in my uniqueness.  I love myself and lovingly express who I am, knowing my presence is a gift to everyone in this family.”

Check your old family baggage at the door, stay in the present moment, and never compromise yourself.  Positive thinking means “being centered” in who you are!  And ride the bumps with good humor. Use your time well, rely upon your Source, and have patience!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on life-balance! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Everyone is born with a basic desire to illuminate the world with a unique capability. Our true occupation is to remember our spirit, and to re-embrace who we are at the deepest level possible and bring it on, regularly refueling as we go. The challenge on the horizon is to fuse spirit into organizational life as an expression of our divine essence, and allow work to become a more complete expression of who we are.

What’s Real Success?
 
Real success today translates into work that is an articulation of our true gifts and a deeply held value set that respects humanity.  Calling the shots as our own spiritual entrepreneurs in self-employed scenarios and home-based businesses means reciting the new management mantra: look inside to your Source for your success.  Rely upon what you already know.  Make more intuitive decisions. Lead with love.  And when we get in tune with those thoughts, and allow them to become the foundation for business, we’ll become more than a channel for everyone’s abundance.  We’ll be come icons of personal growth, serve the world a huge helping of Spirit, and encourage others to do the same. 

Women already own this everyday spirituality, which is a philosophy and a distinctly feminine set of values developed through the art of living and common sense and not necessarily as a function of dogma. As more women-owned businesses propel the nation’s economy, we’ve got to embrace what make women great at the work they do. As female swiftly coaxes in millions in revenue, there something our flipside gender needs to recognize about our success formula:  we are running things like we run the home front, embracing female values of nurturing, compassion, and rotating leadership. We’re putting aside our warrior spirit once in awhile in favor of channeling the goddess within. And it’s quickly pushing us way ahead of the curve, in terms of profitability.  Yes, women are empowering the economy and becoming a force to be reckoned with in the boardroom, whether in a corporate corner office or in the direct sales corner of home.  What have we learned lately that might be uniquely feminine about abundance and opportunity?

Harnessing Female Capabilities: Spirit Power

Since Henry Mintzberg’s observations in his 1973 diary studies of executives, management styles have drastically changed. Old ways, as well as the old boys’ network, have steadily been dismantled in favor of organizational structures that encompass more female-friendly policies and ideas, with the idea of empowering the female through equal opportunity and culture change. Throughout this process, women stumbled on the rocky road to empowerment, adapting to public and private realms still encumbered by unspoken, old-fashioned and traditionally bureaucratic parameters. Women slid into the workforce in a fairly male-dominated environment and believed they needed to adapt. They thought that by managing exactly like men, they would attract power.

But now, as a body of research is developing, we’re learning that we were barking up the wrong tree. Our own woman culture, our entire system of shared meaning and knowledge, is intact. After thirty years we have learned that self-power or empowerment does not happen by riding on the top of the hierarchical heap as a pseudo-man. It doesn’t even come from manpower disguised as womanpower. It comes from a sense of appreciating and knowing at the deepest level possible that we are truly worthy because we are an image of the highest power that exists.

We are beginning to realize that what constitutes our beingness is as divine as what constitutes a man’s, because we are the same soul substance. Although we love God, and we are God, we are also the Goddess. And we’re beginning to love ourselves for who we are, which includes both aspects of a divine equation, because self-love is about demonstrating that which is within, our spiritual power. Female qualities and values that are precipitated from this spiritual composite will someday be demonstrated at the highest levels of organizations with great success. However, for now it seems we must first be more comfortable in our own skin and acknowledge at last that what we contribute has tremendous significance, to society as well as to the bottom line. 

The New (and Old) Female Work Style

The changing workplace is experienced by everyone, and we see a distinctly different female work style emerging. Women focus more energy on strengthening relationships, are concerned about the wider needs of their community, don’t care as much as men about the workings of a hierarchy, and certainly see themselves as the center of the web. Is it any wonder? When I first read the research on female-led organizations, describing how women managers are redefining their workplaces with these values in dramatically successful ways, it occurred to me that we are simply rediscovering what we already know: women are beginning to honor their own spiritual composite by no longer needing to see themselves within the corset of old male management structures and philosophies that held them captive for so long. They are transferring what they do well into tangible results, in the form of high profits and customer satisfaction. They are beginning to harness their own capabilities, finding a voice that is true to their calling, and defining a multitude of home-based business that fills a societal need. And here’s the exciting part: today’s women have the capacity to transform the world by making wider changes because they are assuming roles of substantial authority.

As researchers are tackling the subject of women in the workforce, some interesting results are taking shape: feminine leadership styles and values as well as the ancient women’s way of knowing (our intuitive side) are positive features finally being revived in a new management equation: a woman’s way of doing things equals profitable organizations with happier employees. Women believe that people are more productive when they feel good about themselves. Among our inventory of assets: a focus on unity, relatedness, earth, compassion, and intuition. A celebration is in order – our emotional side is finally recognized as a good thing.

Our contemporary common sense tells us that women are not meant to be silent, obedient models of a passive principle; they are pure energy in the flesh, a symbol of the cycle of life, empowered by individual purpose. Women facilitate the web of life through many channels of power and wisdom. They are among the most authoritative and powerful vehicles of transformation through which community happens. They are capable of transferring this power to others to do the same, with great passion, as spiritual or business leaders in any organizational setting, including the family. Our proven track record needs to be told again when we lose sight of the big picture.

Empowered Female

Women have always viewed themselves as the center of the web, as they are the conduits for life and generally have a deep, spiritual connection to it, not just through children and families but in all organic matter, because we know what it feels like to generate and facilitate the life-giving principle. We are life-givers because there is female in everything. And when life itself is abused in our business practices, the environment, relationships, children, or even pets, we feel it down to the depths of our soul. We are committed to keeping it going in all venues because that’s been our job since the beginning. Yes, there’s a reason we blubber at movies. We’re the sensitive, self-appointed caretakers of the universe and the new community glue for organizations.

As men and women revisit the feminine side of our spiritual composite, we will re-embrace the masculine principle in a more balanced fashion. The result will be the institution of a set of values that correspond to who we are and what we do well. If we allow it, our feminine side will begin to reconceptualize leadership roles, in any business venue, that include affirming, dynamic views of our self-development process. Work will be viewed as a unique service to the larger community. This will be done through new policies we set, reflected in our decision styles, and by outlining the long-term objectives of what our organizations need to accomplish in order to make sense from the act of working.

At a very deep level, the glorious aspects that make up the yin side of us are our core competency – and we’re seeing evidence that harnessing those energies in ways that assist one another in our spiritual evolution can make us better in our work. In the future, knowing how we co-create with spirit, and align with such values, will become the mission and vision for organizations that will finally permit everyone, not just women, to fabricate meaning from doing.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on the workplace! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Living in a continual state of thankfulness allows us to manage life with ease.  True thankfulness is holding a state of gratitude for life’s learning opportunities and for Spirit being present to get them to sink in.  How can we build more gratitude into our spiritual skill set, in ways that help us navigate through daily complexity?

Yes, You Can Cope.  Affirm it!

First, learn to affirm your innate ability to cope.  For example:

• I can do anything I set my mind to
• I am strong enough to withstand any criticism that comes my way
• I navigate through this course with ease
• I have the ability to see this situation through because I believe in myself
• I live through this day effortlessly
• I help people wherever I go by being an example of strength and wisdom
• I feel on top of the world with spirit, who knows no boundary
• I’m smart, competent, and wise

Remember You are Unlimited, Divine Spirit

Affirm that Spirit is a part of each day and every circumstance, and invite it to become part of your skill set, in whatever manner that feels right to you:

• I rely upon Mother/Father God to help mange this situation
• I feel content knowing spirit helps to choose what is best for me
• God can tackle this situation and work through me
• I channel divine love to aid in this situation
• With each breath I take, I am blessed and supported by a higher power
• The Goddess gives me healing power for this situation
• I am expressing the light of Christ consciousness with every word I speak
• I am supported by the universe

Widen Your Perspective on Deep Appreciation

The third and most certain way to manage complexity is to live in a state of deep appreciation for all you have.   But how can we be thankful for traffic jams, lousy weather, lost dogs, and missing luggage?  The answer is: widen your perspective.  Being thankful extends beyond the thanking we do for material possessions, job security, or life accomplishments, which is easy.  A thankful state of mind and heart pertains to the continual acknowledgment that, in each and every instance you experience something far less than ideal, the experience is for your greater good. In doing so, you are relying on your higher power, and strengthening your connection to the Divine.  For example:

• I am grateful for this opportunity to learn more about my capabilities
• I thank the universe for showing me this situation so I can be more compassionate toward others
• I appreciate all the beautiful parts of my body because I am a wondrous creation
• I welcome this challenge in my life and am thankful I can inspire others
• Because of the family I have chosen, I am thankful to be even stronger than yesterday
• I receive all my good with a thankful heart and rejoice in my blessings
• My difficulties today allow me to cultivate wisdom.  I am a wise soul!

Adopting this type of thankfulness puts you in the Superbowl of big picture thinking. You are not thanking the universe for giving you a bad circumstance, which will only generate more bad happenings. Instead, you are flourishing in a state of complete appreciation for what life has to offer.

Use the Law of Attraction

Don’t you always feel more inclined to give more to someone when they are enthusiastic and appreciative?  Consider the times you have helped someone and have been overwhelmed with thanks.  Didn’t it make you want to give more?  Like does attract like, unlike what you’ve been told in the past. Although at a sub-atomic level, positively and negatively charged particles are attracted to particles with the opposite sign, and repelled by particles with the same sign, it’s not a good model for our own behavior and attitudes. This theory of the electromagnetic force does not account for the state of the heart.   The truth is that Like Attracts Like which is the Law of Attraction.  So put it to work!

If you want to be a person that is appreciated then continue to give unselfishly, thanking others for all they do.  The same is true with the universe.  Life provides exactly what we continue to acknowledge. You’ve got to learn to love life, be in love with life, at an intimate level.  Anytime we acknowledge life is good, we are entering a state of gratitude.  Be thankful you have an opportunity to challenge yourself.

Practice to Get the Energy to Return to You
 
Practice!  Write thanks to yourself, and to others, on a regular basis.  Wherever you go, show up with a compliment.  When you visit someone, bring something positive in the form of affection or caring.  Tell your friends how much you appreciate their sense of humor or their graciousness and never assume they don’t need to be thanked.  Write thank you notes for dinners, gifts, and prospects you receive from all people in your life – your family, your partner, your children, and your business colleagues. When people receive your thanks, especially in written form, they take a little bit of your spirit throughout the day.  Quit procrastinating and learn to get the words out of yourself.  Once you learn how to do that, you will be amazed how that energy comes back to you.

Living in a continual state of thanks for being alive and well, and having a chance to improve the lives of others through your words and actions, turns negative situations around very quickly.  By allowing life to happen through you, you offer your own unique thumbprint of the Divine.  That is called living with joy.  Thankfulness of the present is an element of almost every affirmation.  Live in a continual state of thankfulness, express it in your words and actions, and you will be among the most endeared people on this planet. Without a thankful mind set, we do not nearly have as great an opportunity to explore the limits of our patience and our capabilities as loving individuals.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on Gratitude! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!
 

Living in a continual state of thankfulness is so important when managing life’s complexity. Isn’t it easy to get lost in the details of everyday living?  In-between thanking our Source for all the perks in life, remember that true thankfulness is gratitude for life’s learning opportunities and for Spirit being present to get the lesson to sink in. But sometimes it’s tough to rise knowing that each circumstance we encounter is meant to keep us learning on our soul journey.  What can we do to increase our level of thankfulness, even when we are shaking off the last disappointment and want to move forward quickly?

Get Back to Basics

Everyone needs to widen their perspective on what to be thankful for.  Being thankful extends beyond the thanking we do at holiday dinners or for material possessions, job security or life accomplishments, which is easy.  A thankful state of heart and mind pertains to the continual acknowledgement that, in each and every instance when you experience something much less than ideal, the experience is for your greater good.  In doing so, you are relying upon your higher power, and strengthening your connection to Divine love. 

Change Your Energy Around Quickly

Let’s practice!  If you get temporarily down, let the universe know you acknowledge goodness because life provides us with exactly with what we continue to acknowledge. Say: 

I am grateful for this opportunity to learn more about my capabilities

I thank the universe for showing me this situation, so I can be more compassionate toward others

My difficulties today allow me to cultivate wisdom.  I am a wise soul!

I love being and not just doing.  My life is filled with gratitude and grace for this path I walk.

I am so happy and grateful that I have _____________ (come on, you fill in the blank!)

I am thankful for who I am because _________________ (name one thing you do well)

Slow Down and Have Perspective

In today’s world, we’ve taken “multi-tasking to new heights by attempting to be all things to all people.  We are living in a bullet-pointed society – we don’t have time for depth, long novels, and 25 page documents.  We need it in 3 minute sound bites. The next time you are consciously aware of operating in a “hyper-speed moment,” stop and breathe. If you’ve experienced a challenge less than optimal, remind yourself that all is well.  All is not lost.  The truth is nothing is lost in the mind of God.  And move your dial immediately to the gratitude channel.  When you are resonating with things you are thankful for, you are producing a vibrational quality where like attracts like.  The universe, in all its infinite wisdom will simply respond by giving you more of what you are thankful for.

Affirm Regularly

It’s important to recognize that you are capable and strong enough to handle your challenges. You are unlimited, Divine substance with the genius of the universe as your parent.  Remind yourself of that power often.  Let’s affirm together:

“I become stronger because of the challenges I face.  I am thankful for the opportunity to show others how to rise above everyday problems.  Each moment I am focused by spirit to do the work I was meant to do.  My heart is full of love and support of others who help me overcome.  I AM infinite wisdom.  I am capable, intelligent, strong and am thankful for what I can offer the world!”

Learn to love life.  Be in love with life at an intimate level.  Be a lover of life.  Anytime we acknowledge that life is good, we are entering a state of gratitude. Today, begin to live in a state of thanks for being alive and having the chance to improve the lives of others through your words and actions!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on gratitude! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

What parent doesn’t occasionally agonize over the challenges that teenagers bring to a family environment? Because of raging hormones and their brain development (I hear that because their frontal lobes are not fully-developed, this accounts for the lack of empathy) there are days where we long for the sweet little dearies who formerly loved family vacations.  You know the worst has happened when you shift from thinking that you’ll skate through the typical teenage years you hear that EVERYONE is having but not you (e.g., “My son/daughter will never turn into an evil teen!!  We’re so close!”) to hiding out in the upstairs bathroom with your own television.  Suddenly, you discover a frequent reminiscing about the days where you seemed to be the smartest parent in the world. 

In my teenage son’s eyes, in less than a year I went from an intelligent, savvy, and socially-competent parent to some sort of import from an alien galaxy where only fumbling fools were allowed to live.  My job: never talk to him or his friends at a school function for fear of embarrassment (his) and concern for my future (“Mom you ruined my life!  Don’t ever talk to my friends again, it’s soooo embarrassing!) 

Lately, I will admit my fantasies alternate between running away to a spiritual retreat for mothers of teenage boys and seeking revenge by sneaking into their room at night and lopping off the hair that they are convinced looks cooler than Bono.  The retreat scenario involves me stumbling into a new guru who can teach me how to muster the patience to endure them both until they leave for college, where of course they realize that nobody is going to do their laundry and consequently have an epiphany about my contribution to their life. In this fantasy, I become little grasshopper, completely centered in the eternal moment of now, and return home enhanced with boatloads of techniques guaranteed to establish my place in the world again.  Being a positive thinker, I am convinced it can happen if I keep practicing the Law of Attraction.

Bringing balance into a household with teenagers can be challenging and there is no manual or prep course for the daily angst. So, take comfort right now.  You have to ride it out.  Teenager’s needs are so very different from little kids.  However, while cultivating (and encouraging!) their independence, they still need a lot of behind the scenes guidance in order to become good decision makers.

I believe the best way to survive these years is to show them, no matter what their convoluted perception is of you and the world, that you are loved by others.  (Yep, my oldest has actually outlined his career goals.  He’s going to be a C.I.A. agent and sell antiquities on the side. And never get married.)  Because they can’t generate that much love on their own at this point in time, it’s a plus to show them that you are not yet capable of turning Vulcan.  Other people do exist that love and appreciate you.  My theory is that soon they will ask these people for advice (because they won’t ask you for any) and maybe your friends and work colleagues can slide in a few bonus complements about you. 

Ah well, maybe that is fantasy number three emerging.

The best thing we can do, if you are commiserating with the energy these words are carrying, is to continue to show them you are competent and empowered.  Also, show them you can set a goal and be dedicated to reach it no matter your circumstances. In addition to keeping your sense of humor, here are four tips on raising teens. Thus far, I hope this advice is working in my own home (you can check back with me in about 3 years):

• Pick your battles. Teens are supposed to push the envelope.  Let them, with well defined rules and consequences and don’t worry so much about who seems to be winning the argument. Work hard to speak logically.  Less is more. When you disagree, spend more time listening before delivering the final blow (No, you can’t come to London with us in October for a weekend, you’re supposed to be studying at college! No, you can’t publish my personal email in your EBay business! No, you can’t sell the living room furniture on EBay!)

• Respect their privacy.  It tugs on your heartstrings when they don’t spill everything right away.  Give them their space, and let them know you are available when they need you, not when you need them.  The most precious and productive time is when it is on their terms, not yours.  Take advantage of the times they drop a transportation bomb on you when you just sat down to vegetate in front of the tube after running errands all day. (“All my friends are going to the movies, can I please go too?”) Use car time to share something important.  Chances are, they will spill their guts because they feel they owe you a favor (of course, they will never admit it.)

• Grow with them.  As they mature, you have to relate on new terms. And give yourself permission to make mistakes as they make theirs.  It’s part of life! All perfectionists please note this phrase: Little kids, little problems. Big kids, bigger problems. As their strife gets larger, so will your patience and capacity to love. It’s all part of the journey. And it won’t resemble anything like your average sitcom.

• Make your home a sanctuary.   Your home needs to be a loving, forgiving place where everyone feels safe. They’ll bring their friends – and you’ll always know where the party is. And never underestimate the power of food.  Have a full frig and let their friends feel comfortable helping themselves. Time spent gathered in the kitchen around any meal is an ancient invitation to share something.  Chances are, those will be among your greatest opportunities to pass on parental wisdom, cleverly disguised, of course. 

Today’s parents have an amazing level of responsibility. Do your best to get everyone on the same page.  The family unit needs to work together so teens understand that parents have goals too.  Yes, you do have a gift to give the world outside the home. If you are fortunate to have a partner, show your teenagers what a good partnership entails. I believe it’s possible for everyone in a family to reach personal and professional satisfaction – no matter what planet we’re from.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts for women! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

How often have you sent out a proposal, done something for another person, been through a terrible relationship and proclaimed, “Oh, that’s the absolute last time.  I will never go through that again.” The truth is, if you live a long life, you will see those same challenges cropping up over and over.  The difference lies in the way you navigate though those challenges, still keeping your resiliency factor high.  Starting over just gives you a chance to do it better.
 
We’re always starting over, in one form or another – trying something different, a new job, new relationship, new formula for success, new idea to launch into the world, a new philosophy to keep our children on a good track. Unconsciously, we are hitting the refresh button on our screen every day – several times a day, if you really think about it.  Learning to be resilient is about refreshing your outlook and staying in present moment awareness.  It’s about balancing complexity and embracing life’s contrast with open arms, while celebrating all the glorious aspects of life. A tall order?  Well, nobody said it would be easy. You’ve signed on for the big rollercoaster ride.  There is no light without a little bit of darkness – it’s a package deal!

We’re All in the Same Boat

The human condition is not yet excused from grief, loss, death, failure, divorce, ill health, difficult relationships, or adversity of any sort.  We have not yet established a collective mental equivalent for a world without such ideas.  But in the interim, our resiliency can be strengthened by knowing each day begins anew.  Having greater resiliency opens space for positive change and put us on the evolutionary path toward living life with greater, positive expectations.

When we experience loss, in the form of another person leaving, it is absolutely necessary to move through the pain, experience it, grieve, get angry, perhaps resign, in order to move forward.  But pain takes you to a step where you will be in a position to accept comfort – allowing someone else a chance to do their soul work. Pain does lead to peace if we put moving forward at the top of the agenda.  Moving forward through loss and grief is a lesson in using empty space for love, not more loss.  Find the strength to crack open that space inside you, no matter how painful.  Continue exchanging with others and fight the urge to isolate yourself. You will be amazed at what resides within.

We Can Develop More Compassion When Experiencing Grief

Many times we are overlooked for comfort.  Being isolated during periods where we need comfort more than ever – and not necessarily by choice – is difficult to accept.  When my father-in-law died unexpectedly a few years ago, I experienced my own grief as well as empathically experiencing the grief of family and friends. I expected to have my own grief recognized – after all, isn’t that a part of the grieving and healing process?  However, during the funeral activities and subsequent encounters I had with church clergy and many members of the community, the offer of compassion was only directed toward my husband.  Many, many times, over the course of months, I stood beside my husband, whose hand was grasped, his grief acknowledged, while I stood there unrecognized.  I wondered, “Are my own feelings of loss not appropriate?  Or is my function here to just keep facilitating the process for everyone else while my own grief would be more of a burden on those around me?” 

This added even more hurtful heaviness to my plate, but in the end I became stronger and more perceptive.  I had to learn how to ask for what I needed and realized I wasn’t going to get it unless I asked.  When a close friend was killed in a car accident the following spring, I readily asked for comfort while giving it at the same time.  Providing loving support to her grieving family, and my own, seemed easier while I allowed my own grief to run its course. I healed, and healed others, while I grieved.  I fully participated in the process of being in grief while comforting others, and accepted comfort readily from everyone I knew.  I imposed no limitations for healing, from myself or from others, because I learned how to accept and give simultaneously. I was an open channel for grief - accepting, and giving comfort all at once. 

Do Not Be Afraid of Grief

I learned my grief lessons well that year, considering I attended funerals for four other people and gave emotional support to many others whose loved ones had crossed over.  It was a far cry from what I had ever experienced previously.  The universe does have a way of driving a point home. Remember, comfort equals both input and output, sometimes in a synchronized process leading to healing. Don’t be afraid. Use these types of lessons well when it is your time.  It expands your heart and puts you in touch with the whole of humanity.
 
Give and Receive Comfort Regularly

Overall, I think we do not receive enough instruction in the subject of comfort when we know starting over is the only option, either for ourselves or for others.  Know that comfort is a two-way street.  Offer comfort in large doses and practice giving it.  Acknowledge a person’s loss, but when it’s your turn to be on the receiving end, be willing to accept comfort and ask for more when needed. Here is how you can reach out to others:

• Practice comforting.  Sometimes it is difficult to offer the highest vision of ourselves in the form of comfort as some people are fearful of sharing your loss.  I suppose the older we get, we just get better at consoling others.  But never distance yourself from those who are experiencing adversity, never ever.  You must learn that reaching out is part of our soul story too. 

• Keep on giving.  Offer everyone comfort, in the best way you know how, for all types of adverse circumstances.  Keep calling, send notes, bring dinner, give more hugs.  Your resiliency factor will become astounding.  And when you are told, “Things will never be all right again” by those you’ve assured it will be all right, you’ve still done a good job.  You’ve just grown the size of your heart ten-fold.

• Hold a positive vision for someone else.  Because our thoughts are powerful, you have the ability to visualize a positive outcome for just about anything. Use your energy to hold that person, family, or situation in the healing light of the Divine.  In your own mind, become a channel for healing for that individual by sending help their way.

Above all, know that we are expected to see life’s contrast.  Adversity is just part of the program – no matter how challenging, we are designed to triumphantly overcome any obstacle we may encounter.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!