Living in a continual state of thankfulness allows us to manage life with ease.  True thankfulness is holding a state of gratitude for life’s learning opportunities and for Spirit being present to get them to sink in.  How can we build more gratitude into our spiritual skill set, in ways that help us navigate through daily complexity?

Yes, You Can Cope.  Affirm it!

First, learn to affirm your innate ability to cope.  For example:

• I can do anything I set my mind to
• I am strong enough to withstand any criticism that comes my way
• I navigate through this course with ease
• I have the ability to see this situation through because I believe in myself
• I live through this day effortlessly
• I help people wherever I go by being an example of strength and wisdom
• I feel on top of the world with spirit, who knows no boundary
• I’m smart, competent, and wise

Remember You are Unlimited, Divine Spirit

Affirm that Spirit is a part of each day and every circumstance, and invite it to become part of your skill set, in whatever manner that feels right to you:

• I rely upon Mother/Father God to help mange this situation
• I feel content knowing spirit helps to choose what is best for me
• God can tackle this situation and work through me
• I channel divine love to aid in this situation
• With each breath I take, I am blessed and supported by a higher power
• The Goddess gives me healing power for this situation
• I am expressing the light of Christ consciousness with every word I speak
• I am supported by the universe

Widen Your Perspective on Deep Appreciation

The third and most certain way to manage complexity is to live in a state of deep appreciation for all you have.   But how can we be thankful for traffic jams, lousy weather, lost dogs, and missing luggage?  The answer is: widen your perspective.  Being thankful extends beyond the thanking we do for material possessions, job security, or life accomplishments, which is easy.  A thankful state of mind and heart pertains to the continual acknowledgment that, in each and every instance you experience something far less than ideal, the experience is for your greater good. In doing so, you are relying on your higher power, and strengthening your connection to the Divine.  For example:

• I am grateful for this opportunity to learn more about my capabilities
• I thank the universe for showing me this situation so I can be more compassionate toward others
• I appreciate all the beautiful parts of my body because I am a wondrous creation
• I welcome this challenge in my life and am thankful I can inspire others
• Because of the family I have chosen, I am thankful to be even stronger than yesterday
• I receive all my good with a thankful heart and rejoice in my blessings
• My difficulties today allow me to cultivate wisdom.  I am a wise soul!

Adopting this type of thankfulness puts you in the Superbowl of big picture thinking. You are not thanking the universe for giving you a bad circumstance, which will only generate more bad happenings. Instead, you are flourishing in a state of complete appreciation for what life has to offer.

Use the Law of Attraction

Don’t you always feel more inclined to give more to someone when they are enthusiastic and appreciative?  Consider the times you have helped someone and have been overwhelmed with thanks.  Didn’t it make you want to give more?  Like does attract like, unlike what you’ve been told in the past. Although at a sub-atomic level, positively and negatively charged particles are attracted to particles with the opposite sign, and repelled by particles with the same sign, it’s not a good model for our own behavior and attitudes. This theory of the electromagnetic force does not account for the state of the heart.   The truth is that Like Attracts Like which is the Law of Attraction.  So put it to work!

If you want to be a person that is appreciated then continue to give unselfishly, thanking others for all they do.  The same is true with the universe.  Life provides exactly what we continue to acknowledge. You’ve got to learn to love life, be in love with life, at an intimate level.  Anytime we acknowledge life is good, we are entering a state of gratitude.  Be thankful you have an opportunity to challenge yourself.

Practice to Get the Energy to Return to You
 
Practice!  Write thanks to yourself, and to others, on a regular basis.  Wherever you go, show up with a compliment.  When you visit someone, bring something positive in the form of affection or caring.  Tell your friends how much you appreciate their sense of humor or their graciousness and never assume they don’t need to be thanked.  Write thank you notes for dinners, gifts, and prospects you receive from all people in your life – your family, your partner, your children, and your business colleagues. When people receive your thanks, especially in written form, they take a little bit of your spirit throughout the day.  Quit procrastinating and learn to get the words out of yourself.  Once you learn how to do that, you will be amazed how that energy comes back to you.

Living in a continual state of thanks for being alive and well, and having a chance to improve the lives of others through your words and actions, turns negative situations around very quickly.  By allowing life to happen through you, you offer your own unique thumbprint of the Divine.  That is called living with joy.  Thankfulness of the present is an element of almost every affirmation.  Live in a continual state of thankfulness, express it in your words and actions, and you will be among the most endeared people on this planet. Without a thankful mind set, we do not nearly have as great an opportunity to explore the limits of our patience and our capabilities as loving individuals.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on Gratitude! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!
 

Living in a continual state of thankfulness is so important when managing life’s complexity. Isn’t it easy to get lost in the details of everyday living?  In-between thanking our Source for all the perks in life, remember that true thankfulness is gratitude for life’s learning opportunities and for Spirit being present to get the lesson to sink in. But sometimes it’s tough to rise knowing that each circumstance we encounter is meant to keep us learning on our soul journey.  What can we do to increase our level of thankfulness, even when we are shaking off the last disappointment and want to move forward quickly?

Get Back to Basics

Everyone needs to widen their perspective on what to be thankful for.  Being thankful extends beyond the thanking we do at holiday dinners or for material possessions, job security or life accomplishments, which is easy.  A thankful state of heart and mind pertains to the continual acknowledgement that, in each and every instance when you experience something much less than ideal, the experience is for your greater good.  In doing so, you are relying upon your higher power, and strengthening your connection to Divine love. 

Change Your Energy Around Quickly

Let’s practice!  If you get temporarily down, let the universe know you acknowledge goodness because life provides us with exactly with what we continue to acknowledge. Say: 

I am grateful for this opportunity to learn more about my capabilities

I thank the universe for showing me this situation, so I can be more compassionate toward others

My difficulties today allow me to cultivate wisdom.  I am a wise soul!

I love being and not just doing.  My life is filled with gratitude and grace for this path I walk.

I am so happy and grateful that I have _____________ (come on, you fill in the blank!)

I am thankful for who I am because _________________ (name one thing you do well)

Slow Down and Have Perspective

In today’s world, we’ve taken “multi-tasking to new heights by attempting to be all things to all people.  We are living in a bullet-pointed society – we don’t have time for depth, long novels, and 25 page documents.  We need it in 3 minute sound bites. The next time you are consciously aware of operating in a “hyper-speed moment,” stop and breathe. If you’ve experienced a challenge less than optimal, remind yourself that all is well.  All is not lost.  The truth is nothing is lost in the mind of God.  And move your dial immediately to the gratitude channel.  When you are resonating with things you are thankful for, you are producing a vibrational quality where like attracts like.  The universe, in all its infinite wisdom will simply respond by giving you more of what you are thankful for.

Affirm Regularly

It’s important to recognize that you are capable and strong enough to handle your challenges. You are unlimited, Divine substance with the genius of the universe as your parent.  Remind yourself of that power often.  Let’s affirm together:

“I become stronger because of the challenges I face.  I am thankful for the opportunity to show others how to rise above everyday problems.  Each moment I am focused by spirit to do the work I was meant to do.  My heart is full of love and support of others who help me overcome.  I AM infinite wisdom.  I am capable, intelligent, strong and am thankful for what I can offer the world!”

Learn to love life.  Be in love with life at an intimate level.  Be a lover of life.  Anytime we acknowledge that life is good, we are entering a state of gratitude. Today, begin to live in a state of thanks for being alive and having the chance to improve the lives of others through your words and actions!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on gratitude! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

What parent doesn’t occasionally agonize over the challenges that teenagers bring to a family environment? Because of raging hormones and their brain development (I hear that because their frontal lobes are not fully-developed, this accounts for the lack of empathy) there are days where we long for the sweet little dearies who formerly loved family vacations.  You know the worst has happened when you shift from thinking that you’ll skate through the typical teenage years you hear that EVERYONE is having but not you (e.g., “My son/daughter will never turn into an evil teen!!  We’re so close!”) to hiding out in the upstairs bathroom with your own television.  Suddenly, you discover a frequent reminiscing about the days where you seemed to be the smartest parent in the world. 

In my teenage son’s eyes, in less than a year I went from an intelligent, savvy, and socially-competent parent to some sort of import from an alien galaxy where only fumbling fools were allowed to live.  My job: never talk to him or his friends at a school function for fear of embarrassment (his) and concern for my future (“Mom you ruined my life!  Don’t ever talk to my friends again, it’s soooo embarrassing!) 

Lately, I will admit my fantasies alternate between running away to a spiritual retreat for mothers of teenage boys and seeking revenge by sneaking into their room at night and lopping off the hair that they are convinced looks cooler than Bono.  The retreat scenario involves me stumbling into a new guru who can teach me how to muster the patience to endure them both until they leave for college, where of course they realize that nobody is going to do their laundry and consequently have an epiphany about my contribution to their life. In this fantasy, I become little grasshopper, completely centered in the eternal moment of now, and return home enhanced with boatloads of techniques guaranteed to establish my place in the world again.  Being a positive thinker, I am convinced it can happen if I keep practicing the Law of Attraction.

Bringing balance into a household with teenagers can be challenging and there is no manual or prep course for the daily angst. So, take comfort right now.  You have to ride it out.  Teenager’s needs are so very different from little kids.  However, while cultivating (and encouraging!) their independence, they still need a lot of behind the scenes guidance in order to become good decision makers.

I believe the best way to survive these years is to show them, no matter what their convoluted perception is of you and the world, that you are loved by others.  (Yep, my oldest has actually outlined his career goals.  He’s going to be a C.I.A. agent and sell antiquities on the side. And never get married.)  Because they can’t generate that much love on their own at this point in time, it’s a plus to show them that you are not yet capable of turning Vulcan.  Other people do exist that love and appreciate you.  My theory is that soon they will ask these people for advice (because they won’t ask you for any) and maybe your friends and work colleagues can slide in a few bonus complements about you. 

Ah well, maybe that is fantasy number three emerging.

The best thing we can do, if you are commiserating with the energy these words are carrying, is to continue to show them you are competent and empowered.  Also, show them you can set a goal and be dedicated to reach it no matter your circumstances. In addition to keeping your sense of humor, here are four tips on raising teens. Thus far, I hope this advice is working in my own home (you can check back with me in about 3 years):

• Pick your battles. Teens are supposed to push the envelope.  Let them, with well defined rules and consequences and don’t worry so much about who seems to be winning the argument. Work hard to speak logically.  Less is more. When you disagree, spend more time listening before delivering the final blow (No, you can’t come to London with us in October for a weekend, you’re supposed to be studying at college! No, you can’t publish my personal email in your EBay business! No, you can’t sell the living room furniture on EBay!)

• Respect their privacy.  It tugs on your heartstrings when they don’t spill everything right away.  Give them their space, and let them know you are available when they need you, not when you need them.  The most precious and productive time is when it is on their terms, not yours.  Take advantage of the times they drop a transportation bomb on you when you just sat down to vegetate in front of the tube after running errands all day. (“All my friends are going to the movies, can I please go too?”) Use car time to share something important.  Chances are, they will spill their guts because they feel they owe you a favor (of course, they will never admit it.)

• Grow with them.  As they mature, you have to relate on new terms. And give yourself permission to make mistakes as they make theirs.  It’s part of life! All perfectionists please note this phrase: Little kids, little problems. Big kids, bigger problems. As their strife gets larger, so will your patience and capacity to love. It’s all part of the journey. And it won’t resemble anything like your average sitcom.

• Make your home a sanctuary.   Your home needs to be a loving, forgiving place where everyone feels safe. They’ll bring their friends – and you’ll always know where the party is. And never underestimate the power of food.  Have a full frig and let their friends feel comfortable helping themselves. Time spent gathered in the kitchen around any meal is an ancient invitation to share something.  Chances are, those will be among your greatest opportunities to pass on parental wisdom, cleverly disguised, of course. 

Today’s parents have an amazing level of responsibility. Do your best to get everyone on the same page.  The family unit needs to work together so teens understand that parents have goals too.  Yes, you do have a gift to give the world outside the home. If you are fortunate to have a partner, show your teenagers what a good partnership entails. I believe it’s possible for everyone in a family to reach personal and professional satisfaction – no matter what planet we’re from.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts for women! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

How often have you sent out a proposal, done something for another person, been through a terrible relationship and proclaimed, “Oh, that’s the absolute last time.  I will never go through that again.” The truth is, if you live a long life, you will see those same challenges cropping up over and over.  The difference lies in the way you navigate though those challenges, still keeping your resiliency factor high.  Starting over just gives you a chance to do it better.
 
We’re always starting over, in one form or another – trying something different, a new job, new relationship, new formula for success, new idea to launch into the world, a new philosophy to keep our children on a good track. Unconsciously, we are hitting the refresh button on our screen every day – several times a day, if you really think about it.  Learning to be resilient is about refreshing your outlook and staying in present moment awareness.  It’s about balancing complexity and embracing life’s contrast with open arms, while celebrating all the glorious aspects of life. A tall order?  Well, nobody said it would be easy. You’ve signed on for the big rollercoaster ride.  There is no light without a little bit of darkness – it’s a package deal!

We’re All in the Same Boat

The human condition is not yet excused from grief, loss, death, failure, divorce, ill health, difficult relationships, or adversity of any sort.  We have not yet established a collective mental equivalent for a world without such ideas.  But in the interim, our resiliency can be strengthened by knowing each day begins anew.  Having greater resiliency opens space for positive change and put us on the evolutionary path toward living life with greater, positive expectations.

When we experience loss, in the form of another person leaving, it is absolutely necessary to move through the pain, experience it, grieve, get angry, perhaps resign, in order to move forward.  But pain takes you to a step where you will be in a position to accept comfort – allowing someone else a chance to do their soul work. Pain does lead to peace if we put moving forward at the top of the agenda.  Moving forward through loss and grief is a lesson in using empty space for love, not more loss.  Find the strength to crack open that space inside you, no matter how painful.  Continue exchanging with others and fight the urge to isolate yourself. You will be amazed at what resides within.

We Can Develop More Compassion When Experiencing Grief

Many times we are overlooked for comfort.  Being isolated during periods where we need comfort more than ever – and not necessarily by choice – is difficult to accept.  When my father-in-law died unexpectedly a few years ago, I experienced my own grief as well as empathically experiencing the grief of family and friends. I expected to have my own grief recognized – after all, isn’t that a part of the grieving and healing process?  However, during the funeral activities and subsequent encounters I had with church clergy and many members of the community, the offer of compassion was only directed toward my husband.  Many, many times, over the course of months, I stood beside my husband, whose hand was grasped, his grief acknowledged, while I stood there unrecognized.  I wondered, “Are my own feelings of loss not appropriate?  Or is my function here to just keep facilitating the process for everyone else while my own grief would be more of a burden on those around me?” 

This added even more hurtful heaviness to my plate, but in the end I became stronger and more perceptive.  I had to learn how to ask for what I needed and realized I wasn’t going to get it unless I asked.  When a close friend was killed in a car accident the following spring, I readily asked for comfort while giving it at the same time.  Providing loving support to her grieving family, and my own, seemed easier while I allowed my own grief to run its course. I healed, and healed others, while I grieved.  I fully participated in the process of being in grief while comforting others, and accepted comfort readily from everyone I knew.  I imposed no limitations for healing, from myself or from others, because I learned how to accept and give simultaneously. I was an open channel for grief - accepting, and giving comfort all at once. 

Do Not Be Afraid of Grief

I learned my grief lessons well that year, considering I attended funerals for four other people and gave emotional support to many others whose loved ones had crossed over.  It was a far cry from what I had ever experienced previously.  The universe does have a way of driving a point home. Remember, comfort equals both input and output, sometimes in a synchronized process leading to healing. Don’t be afraid. Use these types of lessons well when it is your time.  It expands your heart and puts you in touch with the whole of humanity.
 
Give and Receive Comfort Regularly

Overall, I think we do not receive enough instruction in the subject of comfort when we know starting over is the only option, either for ourselves or for others.  Know that comfort is a two-way street.  Offer comfort in large doses and practice giving it.  Acknowledge a person’s loss, but when it’s your turn to be on the receiving end, be willing to accept comfort and ask for more when needed. Here is how you can reach out to others:

• Practice comforting.  Sometimes it is difficult to offer the highest vision of ourselves in the form of comfort as some people are fearful of sharing your loss.  I suppose the older we get, we just get better at consoling others.  But never distance yourself from those who are experiencing adversity, never ever.  You must learn that reaching out is part of our soul story too. 

• Keep on giving.  Offer everyone comfort, in the best way you know how, for all types of adverse circumstances.  Keep calling, send notes, bring dinner, give more hugs.  Your resiliency factor will become astounding.  And when you are told, “Things will never be all right again” by those you’ve assured it will be all right, you’ve still done a good job.  You’ve just grown the size of your heart ten-fold.

• Hold a positive vision for someone else.  Because our thoughts are powerful, you have the ability to visualize a positive outcome for just about anything. Use your energy to hold that person, family, or situation in the healing light of the Divine.  In your own mind, become a channel for healing for that individual by sending help their way.

Above all, know that we are expected to see life’s contrast.  Adversity is just part of the program – no matter how challenging, we are designed to triumphantly overcome any obstacle we may encounter.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Emmet Fox, a 1940’s new thought minister, stressed the importance of setting a mental equivalent to create an abundant life, borrowing the term from chemistry and physics.  If engineers can work out the equivalent of heat in order to determine how much energy it represents in the form of another energy, so can we.   What does this say about the way we are perfectly capable of instituting positive change in our lives and world?

You can create the equivalent of every experience or object in the physical world by changing the thought to which it corresponds.  Whatever you want in life – a satisfying job, healthy body, friends, or opportunities, you must first set a mental equivalent to attract it.  If you have something you want to be rid of – ill health or strife, then begin by striking the belief that those ideas and experiences must be part of your world and the world at large.

Just like cleaning closets after a holiday, limiting belief systems must change in order to create new realities.  Instead of old baggage, we can choose positive, empowering thoughts to provide a foundation for our experiences and what we demonstrate, not just in the business world, but in our personal lives as well.  Have you examined your finances and things don’t look too good? It’s an invitation to abandon old assumptions about lack.

Put together a prosperity mindset

To open room for an abundant life, create a new mental equivalent.  Ask yourself:

• What would you like to see happen? Whether it is a bigger bank account or more love, feel what you want with tremendous passion and clarity.  Be grateful, and rejoice in the abundance of everything. You can notice joy and prosperity everywhere and view the world with awe.

• Where do your past prosperity and abundance attitudes come from?  Creating an abundant life is about mastering the process of thinking.  Your abundance is not determined by outside conditions but is a manifestation of your beliefs about what is possible. Take an inventory of faulty thinking and release old, outdated ideas about lack, what you deserve, or even old family and cultural attitudes about money.

• Be thankful for what you have and what you are about to receive.  An attitude of gratitude is necessary to change your energy around. You are making the universe a big, shopping list for all you desire – be happy and grateful for it! By having a mindset of joyful thanks, you are resonating with all things that bring you joy – and you will attract more.  Like attracts like!

Stay on track with higher level thinking

• Believe you already have everything. After you have asked, it will be given.  When you begin to live life with a sense of positive expectation, you will attract what you desire.  It’s the premise behind the Law of Attraction!
 
• Know that you are unlimited.  There is nothing holding you behind. You are part of the All, which is an unlimited idea.  Therefore, your life is without limits.  God is universal, and there is one infinite mind in this galaxy and beyond.  Start thinking big!

• Be responsible for your outcome.  Practice visioning your good, and take the action needed to show the universe you are serious about it.  Remember, manifestation takes some practice. Get started today!

• Practice Clarity and Interest.  Keep visualizing what you want and feel its presence in your life today.  Experience the emotions (joy!) of what it is like to have what you desire. Make decisive choices anchored in the present moment.

Finally, you can anticipate positive change by affirming daily.  Here’s an affirmation to help you unseat old programs when a negative impulse strikes!

Can’t Afford Mindset

When I dwell on the idea of lack, I build a consciousness of lack and it attracts more lack.  Whatever I ask for, I receive, because the natural state of the unlimited universe is to provide for me.  I now have the mindset of abundance because my source is unlimited!  I am part of a universal order that provides an abundant and inexhaustible supply.  I see abundance reflected in all areas of my life.  My income and all things that are valuable to me are prospering and growing bigger as I notice how much abundance there is in the world.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

For many, many more affirmations on generating abundance, please see The Women’s Book of Empowerment: 323 Affirmations that Change Everyday Problems into Moment’s of Potential, available at www.thegoddessnetwork.net, amazon.com, and Borders and Barnes and Noble stores nationwide!

During our moments of deepest despair or danger, isn’t it true we sense a presence “looking out” for us? Somehow it makes an appearance by bringing our attention to what is important.  It can show up by grace entering your mind and body during moments of self-doubt and fear. And it usually appears in creative ways we least expect.
As time goes on I seem to be more in tune with these energies and perhaps the presence of angels.  I describe them as marvelous confirmations that strengthen my connection with my source energy.  I feel a presence through tingling sensations over my body or even tapping on my forehead and face. Yes, I will at last admit this to everyone, when I get off-track with my thinking (negativity, unforgiving ideas, self-deprecation) I feel entities present who literally pump in feelings of safety and peace.  And then I sit up and notice what’s important - like an angelic wake-up call.
Of course, it’s easy to rationalize away such occurrences, as they can be attributed to any number of natural phenomena (even though there have been many spiritual teachers who have walked our planet and reminded us of the presence of angels!) For all who have difficulty believing in the angelic realm, take a look at real people who inspire you.  You can sense the angelic presence surrounding and emanating from them.

Angel Power is Everywhere
At a retreat in Colorado, I had the privilege of experiencing sharing a week with Sai Maa Lakshmi Devi, founder of Humanity in Unity.  She is a living master, a spiritual teacher whose entire purpose is to awaken humanity’s capability to express divine love in action. Sai Maa emanates Shakti power and allows all in her presence to experience a deep sense of profound love and forgiveness. I showed up with self-doubt and worry on my sleeve, wishing to return home with answers on just about all topics ranging from “why are we here?” to “why am I in this line of work?”  I was filled with enough angst to fill the entire auditorium that week, questioning my ability to empower others.
For years, I had been teaching people to release the past and awaken to their potential.  When a heart is opened, it can then be filled with buckets of love.  In the process, we allow ourselves to grow into a vision of authenticity and raise the collective consciousness.  I don’t recall ever taking that course at The University of Michigan, so I questioned my purpose.
While there, I met Reverend Sandra Moore, a New Thought minister from California from the Center for Universal Truth www.centerfortruth.org who encouraged me to stay on my work-path.  It was at this retreat I learned of Sandy’s teenage daughter Tara, who died suddenly in a car accident, and how that led to Sandy’s and Kirk’s work in the ministry. Their story of Tara, and the presence of angels among us, is nothing short of phenomenal. I was lead to their book, Tara’s Angels, and spent the week with Sandy sorting out our ideas of service, gaining clarity in the process.  The support I received from her will last me many lifetimes. 
Was it simply human kindness and serendipity?  I no longer believe that, because when we ask for support, we do receive it, from many resources, human, angelic, and Divine.  The universal mind does bind us together, answering our calls of distress and discouragement – in ways we cannot imagine.  Sai Maa created the channel for love and support to flow that week, but it appeared in ways I did not expect.  Remember, love flows from more avenues that we can imagine, as long as we are open to its receipt.  Well-designed can make an appearance in our lives only if we are perceptive enough to notice.

Angels Guide Us Toward Solutions
Often I have been guided to solutions and ideas through the presence of angels.  No matter what image of the Divine, wisdom tradition, or philosophy we subscribe to, there is a timeless presence and source binding us together.  This presence emanates loving encouragement in raising the collective consciousnesses. As Doreen Virtue says, through our earth-experience, we are bringing our angels closer to us in order to invoke our higher self’s loving essence.  And that, my friends, is yet another fabulous way to increase our faith and trust in the universe – and in the presence of God.
There are always angels who will lead you to a path of greater self-understanding. But do not forget your earth-angels as well – those beloved teachers who write books, inspire you through talk radio, encourage good health, or show you something about yourself for your own self-development.  Don’t forget the stranger sitting next to you may be there for a reason. It doesn’t matter if God’s presence is from this realm or another.  Pay attention! In your quiet moments, thank them for the gifts they bring to enhance your journey.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

ParentsConnect.com, the new MTV/Nickelodeon venture, recently pursued Charlene for advice parents can give teens who are having problems with body image and self-image. Read on for fun, creative, and female insight on how to give your teen girl added confidence and empowerment!

Q: Sexiness, and having sex, is a confusing issue these days for teenagers. How do we put it all in perspective for them?

A:  Just last night I broke my own house rule, and channel surfed.  I landed on the TV guide page where cutaway interviews of lingerie models were running. How many ways can we continue to tie-up, push up, squish down, and show off the body parts that are supposed to drive us to procreation?  Ah yes, and wonderful pleasure as well.  However, we’ve got a cultural misconception with sexiness and having sex.  Sexiness is about confidence, knowing who you are when you walk into a room of people.  It’s about feeling worthy, self-loving, and embracing your gifts from a very fundamental level. Anyone who operates from a centered, deep sense of self-appreciation is hugely magnetic.

Sexiness is celebrating your body, and what it can do, in loveable ways and appreciating every moment you have for this amazing opportunity we call “life.”  But it takes practice and maturity.  We can never have too much of that, especially in a world that highlights violence. Teach your teen to love their divine self, their own unique spark of creation.  And teens having sex?  Yikes.  I’m an advocate of encouraging them to wait until they are old enough to understand the responsibilities that go along with it:  Risky STD’s, pregnancy, birth control – and the complexities that accompany serious relationships.
 
Q: Raising a teenage daughter is hard on my self-esteem; it makes me feel older but not wiser! Can I be feminine without competing with my daughter’s youth?

A:  You can’t pass a healthy dose of self-esteem on to your daughter when you can’t generate enough on your own. And as long as you are taking care of yourself with a proper diet, exercise, and nurturing yourself through wonderful and productive work, what are you worrying about?  Lead by example from the inside first, and quit worrying about what you look like and how many numbers you’ve racked up. 

When you feel you don’t age gracefully, it means you are insecure. To provide clarity, you need to affirm who you are, in a present-moment statement:

“Each stage in my life is wonderful.  My wisdom and experience acquired from life make me a person who has a lot to offer the world.  Every moment I continue to engage in the world is valuable to others.  I no longer need disease or drama to secure a place in the world.  I do not need to compete with anyone to be noticed.  I am shining, with all my wisdom, in my security.  I feel safe knowing no one can take my place.”

My prescription:  recite 3 times a day, in front of a mirror.  In ten days, stand up and declare it in front of your family…teens and all. You’ll feel full of your wonderful self!
 
Q: My son and his friends like having friends who are girls, without the pressure of dating. Is there a healthy way for teens to socialize without the pressure of “hooking up”?

A: As a mother of two teen boys, I’ve seen dating and socializing patterns throughout the entire middle and high school experience.  Thankfully, compared to my day where a girl couldn’t attend a dance or a social event without being “asked” by a boy (she could, but looked mighty silly), it’s all different now.  Boys and girls attend proms in groups not couples, movies are done in big numbers too, and nobody has to pay for someone else. 

They like to meet at a neutral place where all involved have an escape plan, especially if someone has a meltdown or commits a major faux pas. I like it, it’s a good thing, and allows them some flexibility and an opportunity to test the dating waters gingerly.  They’ve got their entire lives to hook up and discover the opposite sex, so go for the groups.  Encourage them to socialize this way and show your support by offering rides (Mothers, hold off on advice given while behind the wheel!  Otherwise, your teen will not ask you to drive again!  You will risk not knowing where your son or daughter is spending their time!)

Given that sports and other school extra-curricular requirements, like community service work now required on most college applications, teens don’t seem to have as much time to get after school part-time jobs (or have a family dinner, but that’s another story). Therefore, the lack of funds does prevent many boys from treating girls the old school way – they can’t afford to pay for entertainment and dinners.  I still like it because it encourages girls to think about financial independence – and get realistic about what it costs to support themselves.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

In-between making the morning coffee, driving to work, and managing the daily pace of modern life, do you feel you’ve lost your connection to Spirit?  Although that’s impossible (we are embodied spirit!) when this type of worry and self-doubt enters your mind, it’s important to find simple ways to connect with the Source energy.  Keeping a joyous state of conscious awareness takes a bit of daily discipline, unless you save it for Sunday morning church or a full-blown yoga retreat. How about sprinkling Spirit around a little more frequently?  Let’s learn to revitalize our connection regularly.

Embracing spirituality throughout the day is about assigning meaning to simple actions that celebrate your place in the universe.  Here are three quick and easy tips to feel good (God’s presence) in-between the hub-bub:

Get centered and release emotional baggage from yesterday 

Before you get out of bed, affirm the existence of your true self by centering your awareness.  Feel the source of your spiritual power.  Close your eyes and ask whether you have allowed anyone, or any circumstance, to take away your power to create the life you want.  Do old hurts keep manifesting in your relationships?  Make a commitment to release those feelings and know you are empowered with divine love.  Breathe deeply and visualize a fresh, new canvas you are going to paint your experiences and desires.

Consciously create your day by recognizing the “I AM” presence within

Design your own mantra. “I am a channel for creativity and divine intelligence” or “I am open to the abundance of knowledge that the universe is which is present in me now.”  Look in the mirror and acknowledge this simple invitation while getting dressed.

Go on a gratitude walk

Whether you have the luxury of walking on the beach, exercising the dog, or simply getting from the parking garage to the office, each step can be a silent prayer of thanks.  Make each step toward the coffeepot a reason for thankfulness in your world.  Mentally note at least 10 things you feel a strong sense of gratitude about and make each step resonate with silent appreciation. 

The Law of Attraction states that we manifest exactly what we invite into our lives, by having great clarity and a passion for an idea.  When you are thankful and filled with a sense of gratitude, you are attracting more things in your life to be thankful for! 

Finally, breathe in loving-kindness and exhale gratitude for all you are and what you currently have today.  Inhale everything on that shopping list of new ideas you’re planning to draw into your realm, whether it is a new job, more loving relationships, or even more balance. Once these energies are set into motion, not only does today take a positive shape, but tomorrow will begin to fall in place effortlessly.  You’ll feel better by making meaning out of ordinary actions. Be creative in finding new ways to meditate that make sense to you!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

ParentsConnect.com, the new MTV/Nickelodeon venture, recently pursued Charlene for advice parents can give teen girls who are having problems with body image and self-image. Read on for fun, creative, and female insight on how to give your teen girl added confidence and empowerment!

Q: I notice my teenage daughter is starting to criticize the way she looks and always compares herself to her friends. How can I get her to stop being so hard on herself?

A: With what the media fires away at us daily, it’s no wonder we grow up thinking we need perfect bodies. Consider the way Madison Avenue has convinced us to use cosmetics to enhance our natural beauty, dress to get noticed, and even have plastic surgery if our body parts don’t seem to compare to women we see on the screen.  Remind your daughter these types of people are a miniscule percentage of what the human race really looks like – and people selected to “represent” what is beautiful and what isn’t waxes and wanes with fickle public opinion.  Unfortunately, these icons of popularity sell more products – everything to real estate, food, cars, and even happiness.

First of all, tell grasshopper that women are naturally hairy, hippy, biologically designed to carry the next generation inside us, and our brains are supposed to have 33% more neuronal fibers than men – suggesting that our left side of the brain (logical analytical, task oriented) and right side (the intuited, holistic) talk more easily to each with compared with men.  Translation: women are great multi-taskers, manage complexity well, and are terrific at seeing the whole enchilada of life.  And hips really are terrific. Your job:  keep pointing out what women do well and aim for powerful facts and metaphors.  Pretty soon it’ll sink in that Woman is Wonderous… no matter the size, shape, or how adorned.

Q: There doesn’t seem to be a lot of positive role models of women in the media for my teenage daughter to emulate (or me, for that matter!) How can I seek out older women who might inspire both of us?

A: Helping teen girls develop confidence today needs to be a creative and thoughtful exercise. Unplug from the media and go to a resource like bookstores and museums and show her what powerful ancient women used to aspire to.  In many egalitarian communities, women not only ruled the roost but ran the temples, local politics, and were greatly respected priestesses and healers. Sound crazy?  Delve into the history books on women’s religion when women shared the dais with male and how archeological findings produced many more images of female deity than male gods.

Have a look at modern day culture by revisiting the past.  I always say when we stop expanding our parameters on culture, philosophy, science, art, and all aspects of our worldly experience, past and present, our ideas become very small.  We are limiting our perspective and then bothered by things that don’t really matter.  Think outside the box and always trust her to develop her own role models.  Keep broadening her thoughts about what a woman can be and do.  Spend some time at the Louvre (or on the internet!) looking at The Goddess Athena, Venus of Willendorf, or Diana of Ephesus.  These images (and mythologies) knock her socks off.  Know that no matter what age, we can always find strong (and statuesque) leaders to inspire us.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts for women! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Women never cease to amaze me when they rally at impromptu gatherings to reignite the bonds of their ancient female past. Recently, I was invited to join a group of women on a trip to the American southwest. I knew only the trip planner. Some arrived as friendship partners or business partners; others were taking a brief hiatus from being mother, wife, fundraiser, curator, marketing analyst, or teacher. Others came for meditative time and long walks, seizing the day to reconnect with their bodies through better eating or exercise. Our only commitment: eat together at least once during the week.

Surprisingly, in six days this group went from strangers to sisterhood, laughing like old friends, sharing conversation about marriages, children, and spiritual development. Unknowingly, we granted ourselves permission to deeply explore one another’s minds with the intention of learning, and nothing more. Unthreatened by our diversity, we developed a dialogue, and we were both shocked and entertained by everyone’s perspective. By the time we participated in a drumming circle on the final evening, we beat our instruments as if it were the last day on earth, rhythm makers connecting land and sky, our dancing selves somewhere in between.

By the time the last flame was extinguished, a sense of community existed which was nothing less than magical: a pledge of support and understanding as we re-entered our individual lives. Our sacred circle was inadvertently cast. And a grounded, unstructured, woman-affirming spirituality arose from emptiness, as a consequence of creating space for wisdom to emerge. 

Women Need to Gather to Share Wisdom

What is it about a woman-gathering that empowers women? It’s molding collective ideas into something that makes sense; the telling of stories; inhaling a woman’s worldly viewpoint and not a man’s. It’s about enhancing our judgment on what to let go and what to pack in the suitcase for the journey home. A woman-gathering is an opportunity to place sticky notes on those areas of our lives where we’ve lacked true self-awareness, alerting us to why we have been taking too much direction from external circumstances and not enough from a sense of our own creative power. Our individual and collective strength is greatly diminished when our minds race with what needs to be done and whose needs need to be met next, with little or no time to revisit the meaning of what we’re doing. As a result, we wander, letting life move us instead of choosing where we want to move life.

Revisit the Tribal Sisterhood

Reviving our past extends far beyond analyzing the happenstance of the immediate. It goes back to a time when tribal sisterhood existed, when women helped one another find wisdom within everyday experiences, when making spiritual room for self-discovery and renewal was as necessary as breathing. I believe we are born with a need to gather ancient women’s wisdom from all walks of life and apply it to our private expeditions. Women long to share stories of tragedy and success, to weep, giggle, and feel better about adversity, while comparing notes about how to improve our own thinking and change our individual worlds through relationships and work.

Affirm your connection regularly

Today, celebrate your ancient tribal sisterhood and the wisdom you have earned since the beginning of time.  Be empowered by your women’s wisdom!  Remember to love being female.  Have lunch with a friend, visit your mother, or talk to the woman who works at the corner supermarket.  Honor this shared connection that deepens in power and confidence daily.  Affirm the wonder of you! Say:

“I am all seasons, all cycles, and all elements. I am empowered by the wisdom of women’s collective experiences since the beginning of time. I feel competent knowing my worldly perspective matters. I am a powerful, beloved female!”

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!