Q:  Confidence and self-worth are elusive goals for so many women.  You’ve achieved so much.  Where did you find your courage?

A:  When we choose to act with courage we open the floodgates to our authenticity.  Megan Raphael and Jennifer Byron said this when they wrote the book “The Courage Code” – a collection of stories on women who have rediscovered their self-worth and confidence. We build upon these ideas as a result of our soul journey and life experience – they are not necessarily skills we are born with. When we stop choosing our course of action out of a sense of obligation or desire to keep everyone else in balance, we no longer need to compromise ourselves by diminishing our own value.  Out this simple act of self-love, we are healed and empowered. Embracing our own authenticity is about self-celebration, whether in the form of choosing a new career, writing poetry, or learning to dance when we are in our 60’s.  Authenticity builds upon the awareness of our own unique gifts. One of my own life lessons was to learn to love myself, develop my voice, and teach others to do the same, so I gave up my left-brain corporate and research world in favor of teaching women to rediscover who they are at a fundamental level. So, my own brand of courage comes from demonstrating that which I need to claim and solidify.

Q:  How does the Goddess principle inform a woman’s work ethic?

A:  The Goddess is a powerful metaphor of a woman’s self-image.  Sometimes identifying with female deity makes women radiate with awareness that they are part of a huge, cosmic equation, but mostly, it’s about opening our hearts as fully as possible.  To stop denying our human experiences as a way to evolve our collective consciousness.  Culture and society has devalued that for so long, it’s time for a Goddess revival. When we begin to know the feminine principle, we begin to understand the path to human evolution. Part of this is about practicing the power of intuition, patience, a reverence for nature, and the knowledge of the holy unity of all things – all fabulous and natural capabilities of women. 

Q:  As you share these principles with women, what is the most startling transformative moment for women?

A:  They realize that they want to marry traditional masculine ideas of rule, reason, passion for order, structure, science, control and left brain with a feminine perspective on matters.  They understand that a balanced life, and self-actualization, comes from a balanced point of view, meaning that we must be aware of both sides of who we are.  They realize that validation from having a strictly male value set on success and careers is no longer necessary.

Q:  Women are such effective communicators, contributors and connectors yet continue to be undervalued in the workplace.  What is the key to changing the environment?  Or can we only change ourselves?

A:  Because women learned the corporate work tradition from men, they thought loosing their emotional depth, intuition, and seeing the gestalt improved performance. This is the first assumption to unseat when we desire change. A woman’s brain works differently than a man’s.  Generally, we have 33% more neuronal fibers in the corpus callosum, the dense fibers that link the two hemispheres of the brain.  Women have more connecting neurons between the left and right brain, so we tend to use both sides more than men when problem solving.  In the workplace, women have been conditioned to think like men – believing that compartmentalizing problems and lineal thinking is the only way to manage people and complexity.  To change the environment, first learn about your eyes, ears, brains, and all the amazing gender-based facts of who you are.  Be empowered by how you are wired. Harness that, celebrate it, and know you are not a mini-man.  Congratulate yourself on your inherent capabilities and bask in your own wonder.  When you do that, circumstances and people will change around you.

Q:  Your work with the homeless reflects the depth of your belief in the ability of your approach to reinvent women’s lives no matter how desperate their circumstances.  What is the most important thing you say or do when connecting with these women the first time?  Have they surprised you?

A:  I teach them their reality changes when they believe in the power of the mind. Defining their expectations of life, relationships or job success is first about moving forward into the present moment and shedding guilt, fear and self-doubt.  We can’t succeed at anything if we have no room for personal growth because it’s often taken up with a victim mentality and unforgiveness.  Emmet Fox, a 1940’s Unity Minister said that without clarity of knowing what you want and feeling the passion for it in the mind first, the universe can’t get a clear message on manifesting your reality. So, I teach the homeless about mental equivalents and affirmations because these are concepts easy to grasp and it helps begin to develop new automatic programs in the mind.  Overall, they are incredibly motivated to change.  That’s been a real myth buster.

Q:  What is your legacy to women?  How do you wish to be remembered?

A:  My vision is to get as many women as possible to understand that they are individual sparks of Divine power.  A woman is a whole image of creation, not a sub-set.  There is nothing blemished, sinful, or unworthy about being a woman. When women finally claim they are part of the universal I AM, which means they are timeless and unlimited, they will know they can’t be anything else. If am a teacher that walks this planet and can successfully communicate those ideas to both men and women, I will cross over to the other side with a kick in my step.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

However, achieving personal growth through work means being consciously aware of serving a cause without losing yourself in the process. How do you continue to remain positive in the workplace? Here are four important reminders that will help you feel good about what you do:

Work with a Loving and Generous Heart.  It’s good for the soul

Spiritual teachers spanning across many mystical traditions already noted our biggest work challenge.  It is to demonstrate our authentic self in our work - no matter if we’re at home with five kids or running a Fortune 500 corporation. In terms of specific tasks, have good intentions for your organization and the people involved.  If you cook with love, the person who eats that meal energetically receives the benefit of your positive attitude and thoughts.  I think that applies to any form of work!

As a form of self-expression, work allows us to re-create ourselves as a form of living art because we are the channel for the Divine.  Although that concept might be difficult to digest when we are pulling a sales call after being up all night with a crying baby, know this:  when we achieve conscious awareness of what we do well, we are instruments of a higher power.  We can change the world into exactly what we see fit – a vision crafted from the best of our emotions such as love, healing, forgiveness, compassion, and faith.  We can educate someone, lend a hand, or teach self-sufficiency in any number of venues.  Or simply create a beautiful object.   No matter our job, as long as we are aware of our power to do it with loving-kindness, we are contributing to the formation of the world and the values of those who will follow after us. Never underestimate the benefit of any form of work that is done with a generous spirit.

Remember your Source.  Know your true C.E.O.

No matter our wisdom tradition, when we take a moment to remember our spirit and pull light into ourselves, we experience a connection with divinity. Often, it is our individual awakening to service and the human condition.  God or Goddess… there are a thousand names and flavors by which we summon our inherent power. Power is a choice.  We don’t fall into it by accident, nor is it given by a secret society where only a few key members are invited.  We are born empowered, as we all are individual sparks of divinity.  The only difference is everyone is in different stages of awakening.

When we consciously co-create our reality with this spiritual partnership, we inevitably inspire others to open their hearts as wide as possible to the energetic fusion called “embodied spirit.”  Yep, hopefully you got the memo - we are not the body.  We are eternal, energetic, infinite, empowered beings, with all the tools from the get-go.  Our career objective? We are here to remember it all over again in a physical setting.  It’s soul development school from the minute we arrive until our last day.  We’re supposed to spread the light! So, when the going gets tough at the office, look at the bigger picture.  Know who really does your employment reviews and what you are really here to do.

Appreciate your unique specialty

Be thankful for what you bring to the world - whether it is creating jobs for others, sharing visual beauty, enhancing communication, or helping others move from crisis and poverty to self-sufficiency.  Whatever your work, know that the world needs your voice.  You matter, because you are an expression of a higher power. Your soul work is needed in the world, no matter the pay scale.  Celebrate your calling and march proudly, wherever you spend your day.

Have a Cause
 
Career success has paved the way for women to champion today’s most exciting causes.   Women now constitute 46.6% of the U.S. labor force and hold 50% of managerial and professional specialty positions.  Consequently, they are beginning to hold a great deal of purchasing power, especially in business ($1.5 trillion). Women purchase 83% of all products and services - a huge market force.  Success and control over the checkbook has translated into a new form of independence called strategic philanthropy.  

Whether at the office or at home, this collective spending power has an interesting effect on creating new pathways to peace and healing.  Women have developed a strong voice and a big resource base to address causes that matter specifically to the female gender, such as sponsoring a sister overseas, helping homeless mothers, or creating specialty rooms for sick children.  They’re translating their soul work in diverse ways and shaping the world with hands using feminine values that make sense.

Remember, doing our soul work moves us beyond our careers.  We can participate in a collective spiritual partnership spanning the globe.  At that empowering moment, we are taking a turn being Divine, by celebrating our path in exactly the way we see fit. Think from the heart and make certain your work is evolving into a personal truth. May you bloom and grow today, no matter where you work, and always be filled with the brightest light imaginable!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on corporate soul! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Change Your Outlook on Change

Change comes though many vehicles – some hit us hard, others are rather sneaky.  But despite the challenges change brings, we know it is our natural state.  It’s inevitable – the world grows and we grow with it fueled by our emotions.  We are already designed to cry, express sorrow, frustration, anger, resentment, even give up for awhile – and most of us choose to explore these feelings. But we are also designed to have hope, recover, be stronger, and inspire others as a result of change.  You are never, never alone because emotions give us plenty in common - as a society, we are not yet Vulcans.
 
What makes one person triumphantly survive loss and turn it into positive energy, while another in similar circumstances resign?  And how do we change our outlook on change?  It has to do with our underlying assumptions on change.  I have two very dear friends; each had a double mastectomy from breast cancer.  Losing body parts is devastating, not to mention living with the daily uncertainty of not knowing whether you continue to remain in remission.  Yet one woman has forged ahead as a life-force warrior, focusing on triumphs and wins of today.  She doesn’t look back.  The other has difficulty moving forward – not engaging in work outside her home, quitting her job, waiting for “something” to happen while in a state of self-imposed limbo.   They’ve processed their information in completely different ways.  Why?

Change Your Assumptions on Predictability

It’s because people want certainty before they decide to accept change.  It’s a natural reaction.  Certainly our culture has become more comfortable with making choices that have predictable outcomes.  A current cultural disease we suffer from is predictability, reflected in our inability to accept change at a deeply personal level.  It applies across the board to choices we make with our finances, careers, or our relationships. 

Science, especially when applied to health issues, has given us a false security blanket when it comes to certainty. After all, it seems we’ve been able to control nature. We like to think we’ve cornered the market on predictability and good planning, when the truth is we live in a time where prediction is more intuition and common sense than science.  To embrace change, we need to release the umbilical cord we think we have to outcomes of certainty.  In other words, stepping off of the plateau requires a huge amount of trust.  Your fall will be broken somewhere at the right time. Believing that is what allows us to cope.  It is the first step, unsupported by any scientific doctrine.  And it’s a big one.
 
No matter what science pronounces, whether it is in the form of a diagnosis, prognosis, or the state of the environment, there is no sure thing.   Science has already given us permission to accept truth with a margin of error in just about anything.  There is always the possibility something may exist, or not exist, despite what patterns indicate.  Truly, it is a useless endeavor to let science, or proof for that matter, hold you back from moving forward.

Whether it is health, or other issues surrounding job loss, divorce, or death, you will successfully navigate through change and elevate the quality of your life by knowing anyone can beat the odds.  There is evidence everywhere, not just from Christopher Reeves, Mattie Stepanak, or those whose stories you find in People magazine, but from the dry cleaner, your third cousin, your own child.  Almost everyone you know has a story of beating the odds.  Let’s pay attention to the real evidence instead of looking for ways to prove that we can’t make it or the odds are just too great.

Adopt Big Picture Thinking

Adopting a new attitude on adversity requires big picture thinking on the subject of change.  View life, and spiritual development for that matter, as an upward spiral where you experience some of the same lessons over and over again.  Is it because we just aren’t getting what the lesson is telling us?  Perhaps, but that’s not the only reason.  We’ve deliberately put those circumstances in our chart in frequent doses to allow ourselves an opportunity to see how we’ve been progressing on the upward part of that growth spiral. 

Adversity is an inescapable performance indicator – a frequent reminder of our upcoming 360-degree review in how we handle the bumps.  We are meant to be a stronger, more insightful person each time we get walloped.  With each business obstacle, make a stronger commitment toward your goal of service to humanity; each time you grieve, become better at comforting others and showing compassion; after each funeral, return home knowing life is a precious gift.

Affirm Your Ability to be Versatile

With all setbacks, it drives the point home on the one true certainty in life and that is we must use our time wisely to make conscious change in the world. Change is designed to get outside of ourselves and become conscious of our place within a community of souls.  Without change, there is no transformation. Change is good, making us stir the self-development pot a little faster! Let’s affirm together:

“Today I commit to a new path.  I am filled with excitement and anticipation of a new adventure.  Those in my immediate future are already welcoming me as a positive addition to their team.  Divine guidance has found the best situation for me so that my light can shine brightly. I am versatile, refreshing, and my very presence transforms the world.”

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on Resiliency and Change! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

If your cause is primarily about love, then you have become a channel for Spirit and are engaged in the process of demonstrating your own evolution… in front of the world.  Your voice becomes your mirror.  And suddenly, through the act of working, your growth commences. The student becomes the teacher, which is you.  And there’s no hiding.

Be Confident!  Your Voice is Needed in the World

When you believe it’s time to share the wisdom of your own life experience, shed hesitation, then open your mind and heart to release the truth that is within.  Let the nervous butterflies fly free into the wind.  It’s time to share what you’ve learned!

Many women tell me that by the time they are 40, they are busting out of their skins.  They want to quit their jobs and start something new.  They’ve outgrown old roles and past expectations and search for work that resonates more with who they are.  They are ready to explore life from a fresh perspective. Isn’t that often when we get a calling to higher ground?

Just like the women who write to me, I’ve experienced this urge.  Five years ago I was sitting in my parked car, and realized I was consulting on projects and writing material that did not allow me to deeply express my soul. The university environment, and my current corporate industry, was still very male-dominated.  I could not find and develop my voice. I decided I had enough of that, having grown up in a strict, patriarchal family environment.  I needed to be heard, feel my female roots. I was finished with feeling lost.

We All Have a Calling

I recalled all the books I read over the years on the Goddess and thought about why I felt empowered and positive whenever I communed with Her.  She was the balance I needed. At that moment, I also realized the need to integrate a fully spiritual perspective in my work.  Not just good values and behaviors, and all the other elements that make an organization click, but the very essence of the Divine Mother.  To allow the Goddess to come through me to help other women feel powerful and good and to know they can create anything they want in life. To understand the feminine principle as part of a collective image of creation.

Just then, I knew I could live a life with purpose when I identified with both a Mother and Father God, not just follow the rules culture, language, and religions based upon “He.” When we balance these two concepts, we are fully recognizing God within ourselves in the form of our intellect and emotion. We can then move forward into a new sense of appreciation of female, and the part of ourselves that is the spark of the Divine. After all, if we are a part of the Divine, and made in the image of our creators, then why can’t we include feminine images of God?

You are Your God-Self

The day I unpacked my newly published books, I took a deep breath and thought, “Who am I?”  I AM my own wonderful person, embracing the Divine Feminine wholeheartedly with self-love, in my own unique way.  I’m a worthy woman and an ambassador for Mother God.  I gave birth to The Goddess Network these past several years, had some wonderful ideas, raised two great kids, and engaged in a host of other creative projects. Life is good.  I’m over 40 and enjoy, at last, speaking my mind.  I AM a wondrous aspect of creation and an individual spark of Divine power.  And that feels good!

No matter what truth you speak, as long as it comes from the heart, it is valuable in our collective consciousness and communities.  Get out there, be courageous, and bring the world your theories, stories, what you believe, and what you know for sure.  I’ll be doing the same in all the books I write.  I think we will both find that our passion is what puts the fuel under our seats, bringing us a sense of completion as well as opportunities for new beginnings!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

As easily as the Pinot, stories poured forth of triumph from experiencing family life in war-torn Europe, metaphors on life from a penguin’s point of view, and how to survive the current real estate market. These women, ages 40 to 75, were a powerful bunch.  Many had started new careers. One woman worked for a government agency focused on providing energy alternatives to increase women’s productivity and survive in struggling world economies. Others left the corporate environment to become yoga instructors, manufacture luggage tags, or start home-based businesses.

What makes women like this succeed in the second half of their lives?

By watching empowered women in my own community, I’ve learned something about staying on purpose and having the courage to define your own life, especially after the age of 40.  Here are six ways to “stay on purpose” and step into a greater vision of who you are:

1. Manage work and life like a powerful woman.  Drop your meek little girl voice and open that throat chakra to showcase your wisdom and intelligence.  Use your intuition regularly in your decision-making.  Don’t let anyone convince you that right-brained activity is without merit.  See the value in being female! If you’ve been the head of human resources in a Fortune 500 company and want to knit for a living, then do it. If you shifting tracks pour your joy into what you love, feel good about it, and make no apologies.
 
2. Be a strategic philanthropist. Do something for yourself and for women everywhere.  Involve community service in your idea.  Spend some time leading from the heart, not just your head.  Break away from those command and control, or patriarchal dominated work cultures.  If you’ve been operating in the shadow of male-oriented work values, create a new work environment that is refreshing and female-oriented. Be firmly seated in female values.  You’ll be glad you did.  (To learn more about female centered values, see www.thegoddessnetwork.net and click on Goddess Values!)

3. Shed the Old Story.  Many of us picked our careers to please Dad and the men in our life.  The New Story: after 40, we finally embrace our unique capabilities.  We’re wiser and figure out where our talents are best served.  Don’t be afraid to go for it!

4. Have courage to shift gears but stay in balance.  Everyone will tell you you’re nuts to leave a sure thing for the unknown.  Follow your intuition… it’s what women do best, but channel an equal amount of mental energy and be mindful of balance. When in doubt, surrender to the unknown and don’t push too hard to find an answer in 20 minutes or less.  You’ll eventually have a soft landing as long as you have faith.

5. Make space for new opportunity by moving forward mentally and emotionally.  Personal growth happens when we make space for new opportunities.  Let go of the past.  Stop making wallpaper out of rejection letters and turn downs.  Make peace with everyone and stop allowing old, negative programs dictate your current reality.  Have a positive vision of who you are and affirm it regularly!

6. Define a higher purpose and stick to it.  Changing the world takes time, but develop the discipline to do it.  Get up every day and allow your inner light blast forth, whether it is in front of a yoga class full of children or writing articles about how we are more like nature than we think. The energy of purpose is like a garden – it grows within us but we must give it direction and attention.  It’s a gift given to us before we even get here. It’s our own special rendition of an individual spark of divine power. 

Empowered people have passion. Getting there takes having confidence to embrace what we know… and making a conscious choice to enlighten others with our experience, knowledge, and observations.  We reach inner peace when we understand that we help everyone consciously evolve by embracing our own perspective.  Our purpose, when we’re comfortable with its simplicity, is to inspire others to step into a better rendition of life.  A vision that cultivates our own wonderful and unique purpose in the process.

Fill yourself with purpose today, and remember you can enrich your own experience and change the world too.  Today in your own life, celebrate your talents.  Allow more mental and emotional space to express your purpose, power, and peace that comes from accumulated wisdom.  When you allow these ideas to drive your life, you will expand your own vision of what you can become.  Be of purpose.  Remember, believe in who you are and what you can do!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on Corporate Soul! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Develop conscious awareness

To feel productive and balanced, we can develop conscious awareness of those thought patterns that prevent us from expressing our gifts. With a little self-discipline, we can begin to reveal our divine selves, letting our light blast forth with no inhibitions and no agenda beyond the simple purpose of evolving our souls with as much zest as possible. When that happens, life suddenly moves from struggle to joy.

Choose a positive attitude

Every day we have an opportunity to choose our attitude and focus our intentions in the present moment. Because of this choice, our own personal lives and all that we see in the world originate within the mind. Our physical experience is our 360-degree review on how we think. Negative thoughts and old patterns of thinking prevent us from offering the world our special talents and doing the work we love, which can be anything from managing a home or a family to running a Fortune 500 company.

Having the discipline to choose our thoughts is also a challenge, especially when old baggage gets in the way. Put simply, our job is to fully participate in life but be consciously aware of what we want to create. Then we can look at the results and make adjustments. This is what it’s like to have an empowered life. And to do this, we must first know that life is a cooperative arrangement between us and a divine presence we call God. We’re all in it together, thinking certain thoughts and making choices that eventually become reality: a real-life reflection of our own thoughts.

Rely upon your inner power and the present moment

To realize this power with strength and self-confidence, we must also recognize that this strength lives within each and every one of us today. It is that spark of divine energy that constitutes our unique and beautiful selves. So the strength to achieve a goal comes from making choices based in the present moment, not as a reaction to events, relationships, or experiences from long ago that no longer matter. Deciding to live in the present is the key to an empowered life. And when we honor the Divine within us, no matter our wisdom tradition, we no longer wait for life to begin; we jump-start it all on our own.

Remember, life is an exercise in making positive change in the most arduous circumstances. The power to create reality lies within us. By claiming responsibility for what we create, we in turn are allowed to grow and self-develop. There is no failure, only a greater opportunity to put your Divine light to work. Take charge of your thinking!  That includes taking charge of your destiny and ending the self-blame for past experiences that no longer have any bearing upon what you can accomplish today.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Positive Mental Attitudes

A positive mental attitude is the belief that one can increase achievement through optimistic thought processes.  A positive attitude comes from observational learning in the environment and is partially achieved when a vision of good natured change in the mind is applied toward people, circumstances, events, or behaviors (Wikipedia). Since it is difficult to quantify (measure) the effects of a positive mental attitude, it can be considered a philosophy and a way to approach life.

The Secret to Positive Thinking
  
Creating reality by how one chooses to think about life, health, relationships, and finances was the subject of the hit movie “The Secret.” Current self-help gurus discussed the Law of Attraction and other principles congruent with positive thinking.  Building a positive mindset that attracted better circumstances in one’s life involved: (1) alignment to a clear vision of what is desired, (2) an attitude of thankfulness, (3) having positive emotions associated with the desire, and (4) releasing that desire to a greater power.   

The experts in “The Secret” emphasized an individual’s responsibility to create and institute positive mental programming and present moment awareness to release emotional drivers that cloud a person’s ability to have a productive life.  Regret, shame, and blame and a negative outlook on life focused on past circumstances can also be fundamental cause of physical disease in adults. Similarly, physical healing can be obtained creating a self-made vision.  Demonstrating a healthy life with positive outcomes involves setting an intention, consciously creating a mental attitude of positive expectation, and conditioning the mind to accept navigate through grief, loss, anger with ease or choosing to eliminate those mental attitudes altogether.

Create Positive Thoughts by Using Affirmations

The technique of writing and repeating affirmations has been said to institute a positive mental attitude resulting in measurable change.  An affirmation is a positive, present day statement that assumes what one declares is real and present.  The more an affirmation is practiced, the mind has a greater the level of acceptance of that thought. Positive thinking experts, such as Louise Hay, Michael Beckwith, James Arthur Ray, Catherine Ponder, Norman Vincent Peale, Napoleon Hill, and John Randolph Price advocated the use of affirmations to both reprogram the brain by repetition and maintaining present moment centeredness. The desired result is to manifest new and positive circumstances.

Since an affirmation declares one’s state of mind and expectation, it acknowledges to the mind and body a present-day reality.  An example of an affirmation is the following: “I am filled with wonder and I now manifest prosperity and abundance in every aspect of my life. I use the creative genius of the universe in all I do. I am successful, healthy, and live life well. This day I have the power to change myself.” 

Affirmations are a spiritual idea, and non-quantitative.  They are based upon “as within, so without, as above so below” which is an idea, or universal presented in many religious works, including the Bible.  If thought attracts, or resonates, with like energies, than any individual practicing positive thinking can eventually see results externally in the form of a better job, more loving relationships, or even satisfying experiences.

For a more complete definition on positive thinking, see The Evolution of Positive Thinking: Views from Science, Spirituality, Psychology and Hollywood by Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.

Know your flash points

Before you agree to host, or be a guest, know the three biggest flash points that can set off an unexpected tirade of old emotional baggage and unpleasant memories.  Entertaining, and being the host, is the number one stressor that can set off unpleasant family issues.  Compounded with already full schedules, we feel obligated to be perfect hosts for our families who might not even appreciate our efforts.  Your home is your energy sphere.  When you believe your hospitality is a demonstration of who you are, you have nothing to prove or hide.  Release anxiety and worry about inviting critical family members over by knowing your presence, and contribution, are gifts to those around you.

Unrealistic expectations are another common flash point.  When we carry outdated mental and emotional baggage from the past, life events, circumstances, and old relationships from long ago, we also bring a set of expectations along for the ride.  Sometimes, no matter what family members do, they may always seem ungrateful.  Stay centered!  Even though you may not receive thanks from anyone, you are stronger for being generous.  Give with a happy heart and focus on releasing resentment from the past.  Your true thanks are manifested in other ways not readily seen. Nobody liked your gift?  Thank yourself for being the amazing person you are…and cross that grump of your list for next year!

Being the maverick of the family, or the one who has always walked off the beaten path, can make you overly sensitive at family get-togethers.  When we choose a different life than our parents, are not liked by other established family members, or are the new kid on the block that doesn’t fit the mold, we feel ostracized and go through the motions, often with a bad attitude.  Remember, others perceive you the way you perceive yourself.  Love your unique space and stop making apologies.  Be kind to everyone. Know you fit beautifully in this world and are valuable to everyone on the planet – including your family! When you believe you fit perfectly into a space that has been designed exclusively for you, you’ll no longer accept any stigma or negative labels others may place upon you.

Check your state of mind

Each day we have an opportunity to choose our attitude and focus our intentions on the present moment.  Because of this choice, our own personal lives, and all we observe in the world, originate within the mind.  Living without stress first originates within the mind! As within, so without.  As above, so below.  It’s easy.  Begin by being consciously aware of what you want to create, even if grouchy Grandpa seems to set the tone for the gathering or Cousin Martha comes for dinner… and complains about everything!

Focus on today

Our families provide some of the most challenging circumstances we will ever experience.  Since family dynamics make us intimate with a situation, it is difficult to separate the past from the present.  Find joy in what others bring to the table, even if Aunt Edna doesn’t like the menu.  Take a deep breath, stay centered, and keep moving forward!

See the big picture often

Use affirmations to get your positive thinking on course.  Affirm: “In the universal perspective, today is but a blink in time.  Therefore, I move gracefully through these moments with ease.  I offer others my heart without depleting my energy reserves.” Other people’s unhappiness is not all about you!

When in doubt, tune out

For difficult in-laws, I have found these two affirmations to be particularly helpful:

“From this day forward, I focus on what is important and not what others expect me to do.  I am capable of using my tune-out button when a negative situation arises.  I am centered, whole, and happy, and I celebrate life well!”

“From this day forward, I choose to never compromise my beautiful soul for the sake of fitting into a program.  I ask for divine assistance in bringing my light in positive ways to this family.  I am a whole and complete individual and am comfortable in my uniqueness.  I love myself and lovingly express who I am, knowing my presence is a gift to everyone in this family.”

Check your old family baggage at the door, stay in the present moment, and never compromise yourself.  Positive thinking means “being centered” in who you are!  And ride the bumps with good humor. Use your time well, rely upon your Source, and have patience!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on life-balance! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

What’s Real Success?
 
Real success today translates into work that is an articulation of our true gifts and a deeply held value set that respects humanity.  Calling the shots as our own spiritual entrepreneurs in self-employed scenarios and home-based businesses means reciting the new management mantra: look inside to your Source for your success.  Rely upon what you already know.  Make more intuitive decisions. Lead with love.  And when we get in tune with those thoughts, and allow them to become the foundation for business, we’ll become more than a channel for everyone’s abundance.  We’ll be come icons of personal growth, serve the world a huge helping of Spirit, and encourage others to do the same. 

Women already own this everyday spirituality, which is a philosophy and a distinctly feminine set of values developed through the art of living and common sense and not necessarily as a function of dogma. As more women-owned businesses propel the nation’s economy, we’ve got to embrace what make women great at the work they do. As female swiftly coaxes in millions in revenue, there something our flipside gender needs to recognize about our success formula:  we are running things like we run the home front, embracing female values of nurturing, compassion, and rotating leadership. We’re putting aside our warrior spirit once in awhile in favor of channeling the goddess within. And it’s quickly pushing us way ahead of the curve, in terms of profitability.  Yes, women are empowering the economy and becoming a force to be reckoned with in the boardroom, whether in a corporate corner office or in the direct sales corner of home.  What have we learned lately that might be uniquely feminine about abundance and opportunity?

Harnessing Female Capabilities: Spirit Power

Since Henry Mintzberg’s observations in his 1973 diary studies of executives, management styles have drastically changed. Old ways, as well as the old boys’ network, have steadily been dismantled in favor of organizational structures that encompass more female-friendly policies and ideas, with the idea of empowering the female through equal opportunity and culture change. Throughout this process, women stumbled on the rocky road to empowerment, adapting to public and private realms still encumbered by unspoken, old-fashioned and traditionally bureaucratic parameters. Women slid into the workforce in a fairly male-dominated environment and believed they needed to adapt. They thought that by managing exactly like men, they would attract power.

But now, as a body of research is developing, we’re learning that we were barking up the wrong tree. Our own woman culture, our entire system of shared meaning and knowledge, is intact. After thirty years we have learned that self-power or empowerment does not happen by riding on the top of the hierarchical heap as a pseudo-man. It doesn’t even come from manpower disguised as womanpower. It comes from a sense of appreciating and knowing at the deepest level possible that we are truly worthy because we are an image of the highest power that exists.

We are beginning to realize that what constitutes our beingness is as divine as what constitutes a man’s, because we are the same soul substance. Although we love God, and we are God, we are also the Goddess. And we’re beginning to love ourselves for who we are, which includes both aspects of a divine equation, because self-love is about demonstrating that which is within, our spiritual power. Female qualities and values that are precipitated from this spiritual composite will someday be demonstrated at the highest levels of organizations with great success. However, for now it seems we must first be more comfortable in our own skin and acknowledge at last that what we contribute has tremendous significance, to society as well as to the bottom line. 

The New (and Old) Female Work Style

The changing workplace is experienced by everyone, and we see a distinctly different female work style emerging. Women focus more energy on strengthening relationships, are concerned about the wider needs of their community, don’t care as much as men about the workings of a hierarchy, and certainly see themselves as the center of the web. Is it any wonder? When I first read the research on female-led organizations, describing how women managers are redefining their workplaces with these values in dramatically successful ways, it occurred to me that we are simply rediscovering what we already know: women are beginning to honor their own spiritual composite by no longer needing to see themselves within the corset of old male management structures and philosophies that held them captive for so long. They are transferring what they do well into tangible results, in the form of high profits and customer satisfaction. They are beginning to harness their own capabilities, finding a voice that is true to their calling, and defining a multitude of home-based business that fills a societal need. And here’s the exciting part: today’s women have the capacity to transform the world by making wider changes because they are assuming roles of substantial authority.

As researchers are tackling the subject of women in the workforce, some interesting results are taking shape: feminine leadership styles and values as well as the ancient women’s way of knowing (our intuitive side) are positive features finally being revived in a new management equation: a woman’s way of doing things equals profitable organizations with happier employees. Women believe that people are more productive when they feel good about themselves. Among our inventory of assets: a focus on unity, relatedness, earth, compassion, and intuition. A celebration is in order – our emotional side is finally recognized as a good thing.

Our contemporary common sense tells us that women are not meant to be silent, obedient models of a passive principle; they are pure energy in the flesh, a symbol of the cycle of life, empowered by individual purpose. Women facilitate the web of life through many channels of power and wisdom. They are among the most authoritative and powerful vehicles of transformation through which community happens. They are capable of transferring this power to others to do the same, with great passion, as spiritual or business leaders in any organizational setting, including the family. Our proven track record needs to be told again when we lose sight of the big picture.

Empowered Female

Women have always viewed themselves as the center of the web, as they are the conduits for life and generally have a deep, spiritual connection to it, not just through children and families but in all organic matter, because we know what it feels like to generate and facilitate the life-giving principle. We are life-givers because there is female in everything. And when life itself is abused in our business practices, the environment, relationships, children, or even pets, we feel it down to the depths of our soul. We are committed to keeping it going in all venues because that’s been our job since the beginning. Yes, there’s a reason we blubber at movies. We’re the sensitive, self-appointed caretakers of the universe and the new community glue for organizations.

As men and women revisit the feminine side of our spiritual composite, we will re-embrace the masculine principle in a more balanced fashion. The result will be the institution of a set of values that correspond to who we are and what we do well. If we allow it, our feminine side will begin to reconceptualize leadership roles, in any business venue, that include affirming, dynamic views of our self-development process. Work will be viewed as a unique service to the larger community. This will be done through new policies we set, reflected in our decision styles, and by outlining the long-term objectives of what our organizations need to accomplish in order to make sense from the act of working.

At a very deep level, the glorious aspects that make up the yin side of us are our core competency – and we’re seeing evidence that harnessing those energies in ways that assist one another in our spiritual evolution can make us better in our work. In the future, knowing how we co-create with spirit, and align with such values, will become the mission and vision for organizations that will finally permit everyone, not just women, to fabricate meaning from doing.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on the workplace! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!