Last week a friend invited me to lunch at her house.  This was no ordinary lunch venue.  The setting was her perennial garden next to a 40 acre bog, lovingly grown with hoards of bee balm, shasta daisies, and bundles of lazy clematis climbing up trellises nearby.   Not to be outdone by the foliage, the butterfly kingdom made a colorful appearance, as if it had been ordered with the entree. It was an unfettered canvas of summer, painted on a perfect Michigan afternoon; complete with Pimm’s, good wine and 15 creative and insightful women who were as empowered as they come.

As easily as the Pinot, stories poured forth of triumph from experiencing family life in war-torn Europe, metaphors on life from a penguin’s point of view, and how to survive the current real estate market. These women, ages 40 to 75, were a powerful bunch.  Many had started new careers. One woman worked for a government agency focused on providing energy alternatives to increase women’s productivity and survive in struggling world economies. Others left the corporate environment to become yoga instructors, manufacture luggage tags, or start home-based businesses.

What makes women like this succeed in the second half of their lives?

By watching empowered women in my own community, I’ve learned something about staying on purpose and having the courage to define your own life, especially after the age of 40.  Here are six ways to “stay on purpose” and step into a greater vision of who you are:

1. Manage work and life like a powerful woman.  Drop your meek little girl voice and open that throat chakra to showcase your wisdom and intelligence.  Use your intuition regularly in your decision-making.  Don’t let anyone convince you that right-brained activity is without merit.  See the value in being female! If you’ve been the head of human resources in a Fortune 500 company and want to knit for a living, then do it. If you shifting tracks pour your joy into what you love, feel good about it, and make no apologies.
 
2. Be a strategic philanthropist. Do something for yourself and for women everywhere.  Involve community service in your idea.  Spend some time leading from the heart, not just your head.  Break away from those command and control, or patriarchal dominated work cultures.  If you’ve been operating in the shadow of male-oriented work values, create a new work environment that is refreshing and female-oriented. Be firmly seated in female values.  You’ll be glad you did.  (To learn more about female centered values, see www.thegoddessnetwork.net and click on Goddess Values!)

3. Shed the Old Story.  Many of us picked our careers to please Dad and the men in our life.  The New Story: after 40, we finally embrace our unique capabilities.  We’re wiser and figure out where our talents are best served.  Don’t be afraid to go for it!

4. Have courage to shift gears but stay in balance.  Everyone will tell you you’re nuts to leave a sure thing for the unknown.  Follow your intuition… it’s what women do best, but channel an equal amount of mental energy and be mindful of balance. When in doubt, surrender to the unknown and don’t push too hard to find an answer in 20 minutes or less.  You’ll eventually have a soft landing as long as you have faith.

5. Make space for new opportunity by moving forward mentally and emotionally.  Personal growth happens when we make space for new opportunities.  Let go of the past.  Stop making wallpaper out of rejection letters and turn downs.  Make peace with everyone and stop allowing old, negative programs dictate your current reality.  Have a positive vision of who you are and affirm it regularly!

6. Define a higher purpose and stick to it.  Changing the world takes time, but develop the discipline to do it.  Get up every day and allow your inner light blast forth, whether it is in front of a yoga class full of children or writing articles about how we are more like nature than we think. The energy of purpose is like a garden – it grows within us but we must give it direction and attention.  It’s a gift given to us before we even get here. It’s our own special rendition of an individual spark of divine power. 

Empowered people have passion. Getting there takes having confidence to embrace what we know… and making a conscious choice to enlighten others with our experience, knowledge, and observations.  We reach inner peace when we understand that we help everyone consciously evolve by embracing our own perspective.  Our purpose, when we’re comfortable with its simplicity, is to inspire others to step into a better rendition of life.  A vision that cultivates our own wonderful and unique purpose in the process.

Fill yourself with purpose today, and remember you can enrich your own experience and change the world too.  Today in your own life, celebrate your talents.  Allow more mental and emotional space to express your purpose, power, and peace that comes from accumulated wisdom.  When you allow these ideas to drive your life, you will expand your own vision of what you can become.  Be of purpose.  Remember, believe in who you are and what you can do!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on Corporate Soul! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend, a marketing manager for a real estate company.  Judy travels on business and has a one-year old daughter. In 2 minutes, she quickly shared the following:  her nanny unexpectedly quit, she’s negotiating complex business deals, she’s building a house, selling her own condo, and her administrative assistant recently crossed over. She felt her husband did not understand the time commitment involved in mothering. To boot, she was worried about losing weight and looking beautiful. 

As a consequence of today’s pace, women do feel overwhelmed by responsibilities at work and home.  We’re often torn by our innate desire to nurture everyone, but want to express our gifts in the form of professional work.  How can we develop a more robust connection with spirit, especially on the days it seems to be going down the tubes?  And what can we do to stop feeling overwhelmed? 

Take Charge of Your Own Behavior 

Life seems to be getting more stressful by the day.  Women need to multi-task their multi-tasking just to keep up with a career, family, and social life.  Often women are too hard on themselves because society trains them to be “woman-helper extroverts.”  Praised by what we do for others, and rewarded accordingly, we put our own needs last.  Societal messages encouraging women to “over-achieve” can reside in unrealistic media images and the nuances of close relationships.   

Problems with this type of cultural or family conditioning can result in choosing the wrong career to please parents or spouses or having a lack of confidence in decision-making.  Take charge of your own behavior by affirming your innate capabilities are enough.  Find a moment to appreciate YOU and be receptive to appreciation from others.   

Many women are not taught from a young age how to spend time cultivating a sense of self-worth.  Lack of self-esteem can spill into marriage and the workplace later in life and affect relationships at all levels. Here is an affirmation for self-appreciation that can help you get on a positive track to a self-image of success and worthiness:   “I am a unique and beloved individual who has already changed the world by being present.  I am filled with joy knowing I have offered the world my gifts.  I shine no matter what my family says; my talents reach far outside of this realm.  I now focus on what my talents can do for the greater good.  I love what I can do!” 

Be Aware of Your True Self 

Empowerment comes from awareness of your true or authentic self.  Our natural state of being is unlimited spirit.  Harnessing that idea through conscious awareness takes effort.  It’s about having the mental discipline to create your day before you put on your pantyhose.  It means knowing, from the core of your being, you already own that power.  You are, in fact, an individual spark of the Divine. That’s a pretty big thought.  We are already important, loved, and appreciated by being in this enormous, unlimited equation.  Focus on that more often and you won’t create negative self-talk or self-criticism that often drives overwhelming feelings of self-doubt and worry. 

Make sure your work life resonates with your spiritual needs.  “Work” at the fundamental level must nurture the most closely held set of values and ideas of what your gift to humanity is. Remember, overdoing and managing unrealistic expectations reinforced by the media and our culture of perfection – anything from having perfect body to managing a Fortune 500 company while single-handedly raising 5 children – is not a divine idea.  It’s a collection of human ideas bordering on the bizarre that might have been designed to sell more consumer products like day planners and diet pills.   

Take a breath and separate what’s important and what isn’t.  Love who you are and generate positive feelings about what you already contribute to the world – not what anyone else may expect. You already have the ability to transform life.  You can give birth to creative ideas by your very presence.  Your life is a sacred expression of your soul put into motion. Value being female and your expression on this planet.  That is a very powerful belief! 

Stay in the Powerful, Present Moment 

You most powerful moments in life are spent in the present. Getting stuck in the past holds you behind.  True empowerment stems from living now, not reacting to now from a mindset of the past or living with worry about what might happen tomorrow, next month, or next year.  Every day, no matter what has happened to you in the past, is a new opportunity to begin painting your life on a new canvas. 

Over the years, I’ve experimented with ways to release the past and move forward with a positive attitude, living life joyfully in the present moment.  I’ve noticed when I start my day without any clear direction of how I choose to think, I don’t get the results I want. 

Instead of spending time regurgitating old problems, choose to move loss, disappointment, and feelings of non-success far from your mind.  Make your perception of reality pleasant and meaningful.  Don’t spend time dredging up ancient family history or old problems that occurred years ago. Practice forgiveness daily until it becomes automatic.  You will feel lighter! 

Learn to Say No 

Saying “no” is about mental strength, self-value, and positive expectation.  If we’ve learned anything at all from watching “The Secret” is the power of our own intentions to attract lives of balance, prosperity, and joy. 

If you spend time wondering what everyone thinks of you after you say “no” you’ll never choose any life situation that truly meets your needs.  Before you say “yes” ask: 

• Does this task bring me joy?
• Does it move me toward a future vision of where I want to be personally, professionally, or emotionally?
• Does this task serve my higher self?  Does it serve humankind?
• If I choose this task, will I feel good about my contribution to my family, friends, or a cause?  Will I feel good about myself?
• Can I do this task with a full heart and not resent anyone afterwards?

Use affirmative thinking to stay on track.  Say: 

“I commit to doing at least one thing for myself today.  I generate more power when I give to myself.  Goodness in my life is well-deserved because I am worthy of all goodness.  The universe is showing me that my first responsibility is to take care of myself.  When I do that, I have a bigger capacity to love.” 

Experiencing peace of mind is a daily discipline.  It’s reached by prioritizing and setting boundaries, but also by cultivating a spiritual connection.  No matter what your wisdom tradition, remember to love the Divine presence within. Revisit those qualities and ideas that spirit represents. And learn to let worries go more easily and find ways to live lightly by choosing to play more often or simply slow down to enjoy the view. You will find life is a more authentic expression of who you are — your female inspired, spirit-powered self! 

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Everyone is born with a basic desire to illuminate the world with a unique capability. Our true occupation is to remember our spirit, and to re-embrace who we are at the deepest level possible and bring it on, regularly refueling as we go. The challenge on the horizon is to fuse spirit into organizational life as an expression of our divine essence, and allow work to become a more complete expression of who we are.

What’s Real Success?
 
Real success today translates into work that is an articulation of our true gifts and a deeply held value set that respects humanity.  Calling the shots as our own spiritual entrepreneurs in self-employed scenarios and home-based businesses means reciting the new management mantra: look inside to your Source for your success.  Rely upon what you already know.  Make more intuitive decisions. Lead with love.  And when we get in tune with those thoughts, and allow them to become the foundation for business, we’ll become more than a channel for everyone’s abundance.  We’ll be come icons of personal growth, serve the world a huge helping of Spirit, and encourage others to do the same. 

Women already own this everyday spirituality, which is a philosophy and a distinctly feminine set of values developed through the art of living and common sense and not necessarily as a function of dogma. As more women-owned businesses propel the nation’s economy, we’ve got to embrace what make women great at the work they do. As female swiftly coaxes in millions in revenue, there something our flipside gender needs to recognize about our success formula:  we are running things like we run the home front, embracing female values of nurturing, compassion, and rotating leadership. We’re putting aside our warrior spirit once in awhile in favor of channeling the goddess within. And it’s quickly pushing us way ahead of the curve, in terms of profitability.  Yes, women are empowering the economy and becoming a force to be reckoned with in the boardroom, whether in a corporate corner office or in the direct sales corner of home.  What have we learned lately that might be uniquely feminine about abundance and opportunity?

Harnessing Female Capabilities: Spirit Power

Since Henry Mintzberg’s observations in his 1973 diary studies of executives, management styles have drastically changed. Old ways, as well as the old boys’ network, have steadily been dismantled in favor of organizational structures that encompass more female-friendly policies and ideas, with the idea of empowering the female through equal opportunity and culture change. Throughout this process, women stumbled on the rocky road to empowerment, adapting to public and private realms still encumbered by unspoken, old-fashioned and traditionally bureaucratic parameters. Women slid into the workforce in a fairly male-dominated environment and believed they needed to adapt. They thought that by managing exactly like men, they would attract power.

But now, as a body of research is developing, we’re learning that we were barking up the wrong tree. Our own woman culture, our entire system of shared meaning and knowledge, is intact. After thirty years we have learned that self-power or empowerment does not happen by riding on the top of the hierarchical heap as a pseudo-man. It doesn’t even come from manpower disguised as womanpower. It comes from a sense of appreciating and knowing at the deepest level possible that we are truly worthy because we are an image of the highest power that exists.

We are beginning to realize that what constitutes our beingness is as divine as what constitutes a man’s, because we are the same soul substance. Although we love God, and we are God, we are also the Goddess. And we’re beginning to love ourselves for who we are, which includes both aspects of a divine equation, because self-love is about demonstrating that which is within, our spiritual power. Female qualities and values that are precipitated from this spiritual composite will someday be demonstrated at the highest levels of organizations with great success. However, for now it seems we must first be more comfortable in our own skin and acknowledge at last that what we contribute has tremendous significance, to society as well as to the bottom line. 

The New (and Old) Female Work Style

The changing workplace is experienced by everyone, and we see a distinctly different female work style emerging. Women focus more energy on strengthening relationships, are concerned about the wider needs of their community, don’t care as much as men about the workings of a hierarchy, and certainly see themselves as the center of the web. Is it any wonder? When I first read the research on female-led organizations, describing how women managers are redefining their workplaces with these values in dramatically successful ways, it occurred to me that we are simply rediscovering what we already know: women are beginning to honor their own spiritual composite by no longer needing to see themselves within the corset of old male management structures and philosophies that held them captive for so long. They are transferring what they do well into tangible results, in the form of high profits and customer satisfaction. They are beginning to harness their own capabilities, finding a voice that is true to their calling, and defining a multitude of home-based business that fills a societal need. And here’s the exciting part: today’s women have the capacity to transform the world by making wider changes because they are assuming roles of substantial authority.

As researchers are tackling the subject of women in the workforce, some interesting results are taking shape: feminine leadership styles and values as well as the ancient women’s way of knowing (our intuitive side) are positive features finally being revived in a new management equation: a woman’s way of doing things equals profitable organizations with happier employees. Women believe that people are more productive when they feel good about themselves. Among our inventory of assets: a focus on unity, relatedness, earth, compassion, and intuition. A celebration is in order – our emotional side is finally recognized as a good thing.

Our contemporary common sense tells us that women are not meant to be silent, obedient models of a passive principle; they are pure energy in the flesh, a symbol of the cycle of life, empowered by individual purpose. Women facilitate the web of life through many channels of power and wisdom. They are among the most authoritative and powerful vehicles of transformation through which community happens. They are capable of transferring this power to others to do the same, with great passion, as spiritual or business leaders in any organizational setting, including the family. Our proven track record needs to be told again when we lose sight of the big picture.

Empowered Female

Women have always viewed themselves as the center of the web, as they are the conduits for life and generally have a deep, spiritual connection to it, not just through children and families but in all organic matter, because we know what it feels like to generate and facilitate the life-giving principle. We are life-givers because there is female in everything. And when life itself is abused in our business practices, the environment, relationships, children, or even pets, we feel it down to the depths of our soul. We are committed to keeping it going in all venues because that’s been our job since the beginning. Yes, there’s a reason we blubber at movies. We’re the sensitive, self-appointed caretakers of the universe and the new community glue for organizations.

As men and women revisit the feminine side of our spiritual composite, we will re-embrace the masculine principle in a more balanced fashion. The result will be the institution of a set of values that correspond to who we are and what we do well. If we allow it, our feminine side will begin to reconceptualize leadership roles, in any business venue, that include affirming, dynamic views of our self-development process. Work will be viewed as a unique service to the larger community. This will be done through new policies we set, reflected in our decision styles, and by outlining the long-term objectives of what our organizations need to accomplish in order to make sense from the act of working.

At a very deep level, the glorious aspects that make up the yin side of us are our core competency – and we’re seeing evidence that harnessing those energies in ways that assist one another in our spiritual evolution can make us better in our work. In the future, knowing how we co-create with spirit, and align with such values, will become the mission and vision for organizations that will finally permit everyone, not just women, to fabricate meaning from doing.

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on the workplace! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Women never cease to amaze me when they rally at impromptu gatherings to reignite the bonds of their ancient female past. Recently, I was invited to join a group of women on a trip to the American southwest. I knew only the trip planner. Some arrived as friendship partners or business partners; others were taking a brief hiatus from being mother, wife, fundraiser, curator, marketing analyst, or teacher. Others came for meditative time and long walks, seizing the day to reconnect with their bodies through better eating or exercise. Our only commitment: eat together at least once during the week.

Surprisingly, in six days this group went from strangers to sisterhood, laughing like old friends, sharing conversation about marriages, children, and spiritual development. Unknowingly, we granted ourselves permission to deeply explore one another’s minds with the intention of learning, and nothing more. Unthreatened by our diversity, we developed a dialogue, and we were both shocked and entertained by everyone’s perspective. By the time we participated in a drumming circle on the final evening, we beat our instruments as if it were the last day on earth, rhythm makers connecting land and sky, our dancing selves somewhere in between.

By the time the last flame was extinguished, a sense of community existed which was nothing less than magical: a pledge of support and understanding as we re-entered our individual lives. Our sacred circle was inadvertently cast. And a grounded, unstructured, woman-affirming spirituality arose from emptiness, as a consequence of creating space for wisdom to emerge. 

Women Need to Gather to Share Wisdom

What is it about a woman-gathering that empowers women? It’s molding collective ideas into something that makes sense; the telling of stories; inhaling a woman’s worldly viewpoint and not a man’s. It’s about enhancing our judgment on what to let go and what to pack in the suitcase for the journey home. A woman-gathering is an opportunity to place sticky notes on those areas of our lives where we’ve lacked true self-awareness, alerting us to why we have been taking too much direction from external circumstances and not enough from a sense of our own creative power. Our individual and collective strength is greatly diminished when our minds race with what needs to be done and whose needs need to be met next, with little or no time to revisit the meaning of what we’re doing. As a result, we wander, letting life move us instead of choosing where we want to move life.

Revisit the Tribal Sisterhood

Reviving our past extends far beyond analyzing the happenstance of the immediate. It goes back to a time when tribal sisterhood existed, when women helped one another find wisdom within everyday experiences, when making spiritual room for self-discovery and renewal was as necessary as breathing. I believe we are born with a need to gather ancient women’s wisdom from all walks of life and apply it to our private expeditions. Women long to share stories of tragedy and success, to weep, giggle, and feel better about adversity, while comparing notes about how to improve our own thinking and change our individual worlds through relationships and work.

Affirm your connection regularly

Today, celebrate your ancient tribal sisterhood and the wisdom you have earned since the beginning of time.  Be empowered by your women’s wisdom!  Remember to love being female.  Have lunch with a friend, visit your mother, or talk to the woman who works at the corner supermarket.  Honor this shared connection that deepens in power and confidence daily.  Affirm the wonder of you! Say:

“I am all seasons, all cycles, and all elements. I am empowered by the wisdom of women’s collective experiences since the beginning of time. I feel competent knowing my worldly perspective matters. I am a powerful, beloved female!”

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Affirm Your Way to Greater Self-Love

Weighing in your self-esteem seems daunting in a media culture obsessed with stick-thin models without hips.  It’s possible to get satisfaction from your own reflection as long as you love your body and take care of your health.  Here are three ways to help you feel comfortable in your own skin and love who you see in the mirror:

Use affirmations to reinforce what’s good about you

An affirmation is a positive, present-day statement that declares your current sate of mind and expectation as real and valid.  It acknowledges to the mind and body that what you hold in your mind is real.  When used with repetition, you can put your mind on “positive auto-pilot” and begin to resonate with other people who feel the same way about you.

It’s important to affirm who you are in present-day language.  This is where your most powerful moments are spent in life, and not yesterday or tomorrow.  What you think is your mental equivalent for what you will demonstrate on the outside.  “As within, so without” is a good mantra for life.  Do you think of your self as a goddess? Then that that is how people will respond.  Do you feel ripe and plentiful?  Generous?  Full of wisdom?  Then you are an abundant expression of life.  Celebrate that idea regularly!

Here’s an affirmation to help you affirm who you are in present-day language. Remember, thoughts create reality!

“When I look in the mirror, I see a loving person.  My capacity to love knows no boundaries.  I accept myself and love what I see in the mirror.  There are no imperfections because I am perfectly constructed.  I am an example of a miracle and am a spiritual work in progress.”

Use Woman-Affirming Language

Whenever possible, learn to appreciate being female.  Expressing compassion and having the ability to regenerate life are powerful ideas.  Discard the diet pills and choose to value your gender as often as possible:

“I am relaxed and at ease with life, knowing I am a part of a vast natural cycle.  I look forward to today’s experience and rejoice in my body’s ability to regenerate life!  Every curve expresses my female power.  I love being a powerful female.”

Be Thankful for Your Body

Living in a continual state of thankfulness for who you are is important when appreciating what your body does for you each day.  It’s your vehicle to your self-development journey!  Because of your body, you have an opportunity to be on the planet and allow spirit to express through you.  That’s an amazing gift!  Learn to have gratitude for what your body can do:

“I am thankful for being an example of a miracle!  I have no imperfections because I am perfectly constructed.  Every aspect of my body is a reason to rejoice in life’s sensations.  I feel powerful by being alive.  I welcome each element of my physical system that is a wondrous example of genius.  Today, I feel blessed to be able to express my sacred gift.  I am thankful I have the skills that can service humanity!”

Too much of a conceptual leap?  If you are overweight, and need a boost to get over the negative thinking hump, here’s an affirmation that will put you on the positive thinking track:

“I am in the process of creating a beautiful and meaningful life.  I am safe and protected by God every day.  I no longer have a need to hold on to the past because today is what matters.  The past has no power over me.  I am grown up and step into a complete vision of myself.  From this day forward, I take responsibility for my life and shed old mental habits that do not support a healthy vision.  I love taking care of my beautiful body!”

With consistent and powerful thoughts, there is no need to stress about the way you look.  Love every inch of you while taking excellent care of yourself. Your satisfaction is in knowing that you are a gift to the universe exactly as you are.  When you engage in a deeper level of self-appreciation and self-love in the present moment, you’ll feel empowered… and learn to love yourself!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on body image! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Girlphyte Magazine recently interviewed Charlene on the principles women can help women build the best life possible. Read on for female insight on confidence and empowerment!

Q: Confidence and self-worth are elusive goals for so many women. You’ve achieved so much. Where did you find your courage?

A: When we choose to act with courage we open the floodgates to our authenticity. Megan Raphael and Jennifer Byron said this when they wrote the book “The Courage Code” – a collection of stories on women who have rediscovered their self-worth and confidence. We build upon these ideas as a result of our soul journey and life experience – they are not necessarily skills we are born with. When we stop choosing our course of action out of a sense of obligation or desire to keep everyone else in balance, we no longer need to compromise ourselves by diminishing our own value. Out this simple act of self-love, we are healed and empowered. Embracing our own authenticity is about self-celebration, whether in the form of choosing a new career, writing poetry, or learning to dance when we are in our 60’s. Authenticity builds upon the awareness of our own unique gifts. One of my own life lessons was to learn to love myself, develop my voice, and teach others to do the same, so I gave up my left-brain corporate and research world in favor of teaching women to rediscover who they are at a fundamental level. So, my own brand of courage comes from demonstrating that which I need to claim and solidify.

Q: How does the Goddess principle inform a woman’s work ethic?

A: The Goddess is a powerful metaphor of a woman’s self-image. Sometimes identifying with female deity makes women radiate with awareness that they are part of a huge, cosmic equation, but mostly, it’s about opening our hearts as fully as possible. (more…)