Last week a friend invited me to lunch at her house.  This was no ordinary lunch venue.  The setting was her perennial garden next to a 40 acre bog, lovingly grown with hoards of bee balm, shasta daisies, and bundles of lazy clematis climbing up trellises nearby.   Not to be outdone by the foliage, the butterfly kingdom made a colorful appearance, as if it had been ordered with the entree. It was an unfettered canvas of summer, painted on a perfect Michigan afternoon; complete with Pimm’s, good wine and 15 creative and insightful women who were as empowered as they come.

As easily as the Pinot, stories poured forth of triumph from experiencing family life in war-torn Europe, metaphors on life from a penguin’s point of view, and how to survive the current real estate market. These women, ages 40 to 75, were a powerful bunch.  Many had started new careers. One woman worked for a government agency focused on providing energy alternatives to increase women’s productivity and survive in struggling world economies. Others left the corporate environment to become yoga instructors, manufacture luggage tags, or start home-based businesses.

What makes women like this succeed in the second half of their lives?

By watching empowered women in my own community, I’ve learned something about staying on purpose and having the courage to define your own life, especially after the age of 40.  Here are six ways to “stay on purpose” and step into a greater vision of who you are:

1. Manage work and life like a powerful woman.  Drop your meek little girl voice and open that throat chakra to showcase your wisdom and intelligence.  Use your intuition regularly in your decision-making.  Don’t let anyone convince you that right-brained activity is without merit.  See the value in being female! If you’ve been the head of human resources in a Fortune 500 company and want to knit for a living, then do it. If you shifting tracks pour your joy into what you love, feel good about it, and make no apologies.
 
2. Be a strategic philanthropist. Do something for yourself and for women everywhere.  Involve community service in your idea.  Spend some time leading from the heart, not just your head.  Break away from those command and control, or patriarchal dominated work cultures.  If you’ve been operating in the shadow of male-oriented work values, create a new work environment that is refreshing and female-oriented. Be firmly seated in female values.  You’ll be glad you did.  (To learn more about female centered values, see www.thegoddessnetwork.net and click on Goddess Values!)

3. Shed the Old Story.  Many of us picked our careers to please Dad and the men in our life.  The New Story: after 40, we finally embrace our unique capabilities.  We’re wiser and figure out where our talents are best served.  Don’t be afraid to go for it!

4. Have courage to shift gears but stay in balance.  Everyone will tell you you’re nuts to leave a sure thing for the unknown.  Follow your intuition… it’s what women do best, but channel an equal amount of mental energy and be mindful of balance. When in doubt, surrender to the unknown and don’t push too hard to find an answer in 20 minutes or less.  You’ll eventually have a soft landing as long as you have faith.

5. Make space for new opportunity by moving forward mentally and emotionally.  Personal growth happens when we make space for new opportunities.  Let go of the past.  Stop making wallpaper out of rejection letters and turn downs.  Make peace with everyone and stop allowing old, negative programs dictate your current reality.  Have a positive vision of who you are and affirm it regularly!

6. Define a higher purpose and stick to it.  Changing the world takes time, but develop the discipline to do it.  Get up every day and allow your inner light blast forth, whether it is in front of a yoga class full of children or writing articles about how we are more like nature than we think. The energy of purpose is like a garden – it grows within us but we must give it direction and attention.  It’s a gift given to us before we even get here. It’s our own special rendition of an individual spark of divine power. 

Empowered people have passion. Getting there takes having confidence to embrace what we know… and making a conscious choice to enlighten others with our experience, knowledge, and observations.  We reach inner peace when we understand that we help everyone consciously evolve by embracing our own perspective.  Our purpose, when we’re comfortable with its simplicity, is to inspire others to step into a better rendition of life.  A vision that cultivates our own wonderful and unique purpose in the process.

Fill yourself with purpose today, and remember you can enrich your own experience and change the world too.  Today in your own life, celebrate your talents.  Allow more mental and emotional space to express your purpose, power, and peace that comes from accumulated wisdom.  When you allow these ideas to drive your life, you will expand your own vision of what you can become.  Be of purpose.  Remember, believe in who you are and what you can do!

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts on Corporate Soul! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!

Yesterday I had lunch with a dear friend, a marketing manager for a real estate company.  Judy travels on business and has a one-year old daughter. In 2 minutes, she quickly shared the following:  her nanny unexpectedly quit, she’s negotiating complex business deals, she’s building a house, selling her own condo, and her administrative assistant recently crossed over. She felt her husband did not understand the time commitment involved in mothering. To boot, she was worried about losing weight and looking beautiful. 

As a consequence of today’s pace, women do feel overwhelmed by responsibilities at work and home.  We’re often torn by our innate desire to nurture everyone, but want to express our gifts in the form of professional work.  How can we develop a more robust connection with spirit, especially on the days it seems to be going down the tubes?  And what can we do to stop feeling overwhelmed? 

Take Charge of Your Own Behavior 

Life seems to be getting more stressful by the day.  Women need to multi-task their multi-tasking just to keep up with a career, family, and social life.  Often women are too hard on themselves because society trains them to be “woman-helper extroverts.”  Praised by what we do for others, and rewarded accordingly, we put our own needs last.  Societal messages encouraging women to “over-achieve” can reside in unrealistic media images and the nuances of close relationships.   

Problems with this type of cultural or family conditioning can result in choosing the wrong career to please parents or spouses or having a lack of confidence in decision-making.  Take charge of your own behavior by affirming your innate capabilities are enough.  Find a moment to appreciate YOU and be receptive to appreciation from others.   

Many women are not taught from a young age how to spend time cultivating a sense of self-worth.  Lack of self-esteem can spill into marriage and the workplace later in life and affect relationships at all levels. Here is an affirmation for self-appreciation that can help you get on a positive track to a self-image of success and worthiness:   “I am a unique and beloved individual who has already changed the world by being present.  I am filled with joy knowing I have offered the world my gifts.  I shine no matter what my family says; my talents reach far outside of this realm.  I now focus on what my talents can do for the greater good.  I love what I can do!” 

Be Aware of Your True Self 

Empowerment comes from awareness of your true or authentic self.  Our natural state of being is unlimited spirit.  Harnessing that idea through conscious awareness takes effort.  It’s about having the mental discipline to create your day before you put on your pantyhose.  It means knowing, from the core of your being, you already own that power.  You are, in fact, an individual spark of the Divine. That’s a pretty big thought.  We are already important, loved, and appreciated by being in this enormous, unlimited equation.  Focus on that more often and you won’t create negative self-talk or self-criticism that often drives overwhelming feelings of self-doubt and worry. 

Make sure your work life resonates with your spiritual needs.  “Work” at the fundamental level must nurture the most closely held set of values and ideas of what your gift to humanity is. Remember, overdoing and managing unrealistic expectations reinforced by the media and our culture of perfection – anything from having perfect body to managing a Fortune 500 company while single-handedly raising 5 children – is not a divine idea.  It’s a collection of human ideas bordering on the bizarre that might have been designed to sell more consumer products like day planners and diet pills.   

Take a breath and separate what’s important and what isn’t.  Love who you are and generate positive feelings about what you already contribute to the world – not what anyone else may expect. You already have the ability to transform life.  You can give birth to creative ideas by your very presence.  Your life is a sacred expression of your soul put into motion. Value being female and your expression on this planet.  That is a very powerful belief! 

Stay in the Powerful, Present Moment 

You most powerful moments in life are spent in the present. Getting stuck in the past holds you behind.  True empowerment stems from living now, not reacting to now from a mindset of the past or living with worry about what might happen tomorrow, next month, or next year.  Every day, no matter what has happened to you in the past, is a new opportunity to begin painting your life on a new canvas. 

Over the years, I’ve experimented with ways to release the past and move forward with a positive attitude, living life joyfully in the present moment.  I’ve noticed when I start my day without any clear direction of how I choose to think, I don’t get the results I want. 

Instead of spending time regurgitating old problems, choose to move loss, disappointment, and feelings of non-success far from your mind.  Make your perception of reality pleasant and meaningful.  Don’t spend time dredging up ancient family history or old problems that occurred years ago. Practice forgiveness daily until it becomes automatic.  You will feel lighter! 

Learn to Say No 

Saying “no” is about mental strength, self-value, and positive expectation.  If we’ve learned anything at all from watching “The Secret” is the power of our own intentions to attract lives of balance, prosperity, and joy. 

If you spend time wondering what everyone thinks of you after you say “no” you’ll never choose any life situation that truly meets your needs.  Before you say “yes” ask: 

• Does this task bring me joy?
• Does it move me toward a future vision of where I want to be personally, professionally, or emotionally?
• Does this task serve my higher self?  Does it serve humankind?
• If I choose this task, will I feel good about my contribution to my family, friends, or a cause?  Will I feel good about myself?
• Can I do this task with a full heart and not resent anyone afterwards?

Use affirmative thinking to stay on track.  Say: 

“I commit to doing at least one thing for myself today.  I generate more power when I give to myself.  Goodness in my life is well-deserved because I am worthy of all goodness.  The universe is showing me that my first responsibility is to take care of myself.  When I do that, I have a bigger capacity to love.” 

Experiencing peace of mind is a daily discipline.  It’s reached by prioritizing and setting boundaries, but also by cultivating a spiritual connection.  No matter what your wisdom tradition, remember to love the Divine presence within. Revisit those qualities and ideas that spirit represents. And learn to let worries go more easily and find ways to live lightly by choosing to play more often or simply slow down to enjoy the view. You will find life is a more authentic expression of who you are — your female inspired, spirit-powered self! 

© The Goddess Network, Inc. and Charlene M. Proctor, Ph.D.  2007.  All Rights Reserved.  See http://www.thegoddessnetwork.com/connect.php?page=eshow for more empowering thoughts! Register for The E-Show, a series of enlightening lectures!